Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 42)

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

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Bobby Wheeler: We were wondering if you would join us for a few minutes?

Jim: Well, what did you decide?

(1938 – ) American actor
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Makes my butt wanna grind corn!

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Forty eleven

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You can’t tell nobody nothing that ain’t ever been nowhere!

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I feel fatter than a possum stuck in a fence hole.

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If you’re ever giving a speech, when you start out, act nervous and get mixed up a little bit. Then, as you go along, get better and better. Then, at the end, give off a white, glowing light and have rays shoot out of you.

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I've seen animals hurt worse than that get well.

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Colder than a well digger's ass

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In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
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I’m so poor that if it cost a nickle to go around the world, I couldn’t get out of sight.

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Peter Marshall: Rich, what land animal has the largest eyes?

Rich Little: [doing his impersonation of her] Why, that would be Carol Channing!

(1938 – ) Canadian-American impressionist & voice actor
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If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

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Women wear a pair of panties but only one bra.

(1946 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Miscellaneous

Happier than a two peckerd billy goat.

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Like a jackass in a tin stable

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He’s livin' in high cotton.

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Give down the country.

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The overhead projector has done more to destroy learning than any other thing I can think of.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
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You’re trying to push a rope.

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I do not see why I should break my neck because a dog chooses to run after a nasty smell.

(1848 – 1930) British Conservative politician & statesman
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