Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 43)

Took off like Moody's goose

Miscellaneous

I’ve got an accountant who’s been with me forty years; if he makes a mistake, he dies.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Give me some sugar.

Miscellaneous

You Done The Wrong Woman Wrong

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I wouldn't trade you for a farm in Georgia.

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They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: “I am a fake mountain.”

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Happy as a clam at high tide

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So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Sight for sore eyes

Miscellaneous

Road Humps

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That kid could break an anvil.

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Makes my butt wanna grind corn!

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Fair to middlin’

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A face like a robber’s dog!

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If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

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You might think that the favorite plant of the porcupine is the cactus, but it’s thinking like that that has almost ruined this country.

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I'll knock you so hard you'll see tomorrow today.

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So ugly the tide wouldn’t take her out.

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He’s got molasses in his britches.

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It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

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It daddied itself

Miscellaneous