Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 44)
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with a wooden stake.
Miscellaneous
Bigger’n Dallas
Country expression
Miscellaneous
It was sittin’ there bigger’n Dallas
Other expressions
Very obvious
Someday I would like to make a movie that makes people laugh and makes people cry, and then makes them leave the theater in a quick and orderly manner so that others may come in.
Miscellaneous
Advice to vampires: why not “do your business” as a bat, not a human; easier that way, and less pollution.
Miscellaneous
Bless your pea-pickin' heart.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,Sermons and soda-water the day after.
George (Lord) Byron
(1788 – 1824) English poet
Miscellaneous
It’s been saucered and blowed.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Referring to a cup of hot coffee off the stove ready to drink
It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of
Drano,
sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.
Leslie Nielsen
(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Miscellaneous
As Lt. Frank Drebin in “Police Squad”
He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Egotism
Other expressions
Self-important
Chestnut time
Country definition
Miscellaneous
Autumn
Fall
Other expressions
Seasons
One time I don’t think you should listen to your body is when it says “I’m dead.”
Miscellaneous
Crookeder than a dog’s hind leg.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Dishonesty
Other expressions
It's gonna be a gully washer.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Rain
Refers to a large rain storm
I have a plan, but … If I win, I don’t want to broadcast to the enemy exactly what my plan is.
Miscellaneous
NBC
Sept. 7 2016
Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary
David Sedaris
(1956 – ) American humorist, comedian & author
Miscellaneous
Just as irrigation is the lifeblood of the Southwest, lifeblood is the soup of cannibals.
Miscellaneous
Though a scant 100 minutes long, After Earth feels longer and slower than your average PBS pledge drive.
Rob Vaux
writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous
“After Earth”
Who died and left the gate open?
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Traffic is really bad
Get a hump on
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Get a move on
Get going
Other expressions
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Miscellaneous
Trees
He’s shorter than a mouse hole.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Height
Other expressions
Shortness
Page 44 of 75
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