Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 44)

He acts like he is 10 feet tall and bullet proof.

Miscellaneous

He’s screw a snake in a sandstorm if someone’d hold it out straight for him.

Miscellaneous

I'm happier than a woodpecker in a lumber yard.

Miscellaneous

One time I don’t think you should listen to your body is when it says “I’m dead.”

Miscellaneous

He’s so tight when he blinks his eyes his toe’s curl up.

Miscellaneous

I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote,” so right before I die I could say “unquote.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

Uglier than a mud fence

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Looks like you came to a goat’s house for wool!

Miscellaneous

Happier 'n a puppy with two peters.

Miscellaneous

What makes Teflon stick to the pan?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

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Toward the end of the Stone Age I bet there was already a feeling that metal was just around the corner.

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If that boy was any smarter we’d have to water him every week.

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Peep of day

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He has a face made for radio.

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It’s raining cats and dogs.

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I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Miscellaneous

Living With Crazy Buttocks

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She’s got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth.

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Don’t care to.

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Sloppier than two pigs in a bucket

Miscellaneous