Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 44)

A fine howdy-do

Miscellaneous

Like a rooster in an empty henhouse

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Not particularly handsome

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He has a face made for radio.

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I’m so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.

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Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

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Snake the kivvers

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Hay is just the first stage of bullshit.

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Limberlost,  Missouri

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Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

(1946 – ) American comedian
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Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed.

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Slower than a Sunday afternoon.

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He don’t use his kindlin’ to get a fire started.

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Pencil Neck Geek

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About as useful as buttons on a dishrag

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I don’t do quagmires.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
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My boss rides me like a sway back mule.

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If you ever feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just follow these simple rules: first, calm down; second, come over and wash my car; third, shine all my shoes; there, isn’t that better?

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In some places it’s known as a tornado – In others, a cyclone… nd in still others, the Idiot’s Merry-go round; but around here they’ll always be known as screw-boys.

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Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head’s showing and gone ‘Philip, look at me! I’m a stamp!'

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
England Miscellaneous

He was grinnin' like a possum eatin' briars.

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