Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 44)

Higher the hair, closer to God.

Miscellaneous

That was back when Christ wore knee-britches.

Miscellaneous

Going ninety to nothin'

Miscellaneous

Tricky, isn’t it, if you’re both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Miscellaneous

I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

Miscellaneous

I feel fatter than a possum stuck in a fence hole.

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She’s so stubborn she’d argue with a stop sign.

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I bet it’s hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like “Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar.”

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Sittin' on the bedpost.

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He’s livin' in high cotton.

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Dumber than a box full of owl shit.

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He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

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He’s steal a chaw of tobacco out of your mouth if you yawned.

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Lupus,  Missouri

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The overhead projector has done more to destroy learning than any other thing I can think of.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Miscellaneous

I'll hit you so hard your children will be born dizzy.

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Skin your own skunk

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Sight for sore eyes

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Big hat, no cattle

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Like three feet up a bull’s ass

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So ugly the tide wouldn’t take her out.

Miscellaneous