Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 46)

If Pigs Had Wings

She don’t have the sense God gave a gopher.

Pore mouthin’

Mend fences.

The bell cow

Ducktown,  Tennessee

Fair to middlin’

You know what makes good hair for a snowman? … real hair; don’t ask me why, but it works.

I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head; that way, they’d still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn’t eat so much.

She’s about a half a bubble off plumb.

Mean enough to charge hell with a quart of ice water.

Sure as a cat's got climbing gear.

She came down the road like a Tennessee Walker.

I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.

(1961 – 1994) comedian

If promises were persimmons, possums could eat good at her place.

Is it any 'count?

His mouth ain’t no prayerbook.

Had a hard row to hoe

Farmin’ in the woods

Ready with his hat and slow with his money

Do it up brown