Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 46)

Toad choker/frog strangler

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“Mash” the gas

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When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.

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If you can't hang with the big dawgs, get off the porch!

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He's as country as a bowl of grits.

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What would annoy me if a space visitor ever came to our planet would be if he kept talking about things in “his world.” Your world? We don’t give a flying hoot about your world.

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Her butt is as wide as a corn picker.

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Cooter-backed road

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A face like a cobbler’s thumb

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So tight you can hear him squeak when he walks

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Madder than a hornet!

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If I ever get burned beyond recognition, and you can’t decide if it’s me or not, just put my funny fisherman’s hat on my head. “See, it’s me!”

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If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.

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If I lived back in the olden days, and the doctor put leeches on me, I’d tell him to put them on my face, in the shape of a beard, so I could see how I’d look.

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She don’t have the sense God gave a gopher.

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Hotter than the hinges of Hell.

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You’re about as grateful as a toothache.

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Remember what Daddy always says – an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
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She can’t help that she’s ugly, but she could’ve stayed home!

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I’d like to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
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If you are in trouble and told to go out and cut your own switch…don’t come back with a little one…that ain’t going to work for ya.

Miscellaneous