Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 47)

She's so pretty she could make a hound dog smile.

Miscellaneous

Normal,  Illinois

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He’s as tough as a boot.

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I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men, but the guilty never escape unscathed; my fees are sufficient punishment for anyone.

(1933 – ) American attorney
Lawyers Miscellaneous

Oh for crying in the bucket.

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I’d like to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
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Messed up as a soup sandwich

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It’s comin’ down a toad-floater.

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To have treed the coon

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Klaus Toppmoller: hair like David Gower and dress sense like Austin Powers.

British sports announcer
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That’s the worst taste I’ve had in my mouth with the lights on!

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I’ll never forget the time that skunk got under the house and Grandpa went under to get him…. boy, it smelled for months… you know, that was the last time we ever saw Grandpa.

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It don’t take long to examine a hot horseshoe.

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To me, clowns aren’t funny, they’re kind of scary; I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

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If a kid ever asks you how Santa Claus can live forever, I think a good answer is that he drinks blood.

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As easy as herding chickens/cats

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Don’t trust the heart, it wants your blood.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
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One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.

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Planted corn before the fence was built

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He’s got molasses in his britches.

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I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head; that way, they’d still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn’t eat so much.

Miscellaneous