Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 5)

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

Miscellaneous

You weigh up the pros and cons and try to put them into chronological order.

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If I had two wheels, I would be a bicycle.

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He’d complain if you hung him with a new rope.

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Uglier than a mud fence

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Purtier than a peach.

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Have to piss like a Russian race horse.

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Rest your features

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It’s raining like pouring piss out of a boot.

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He bought a pig in a poke.

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Killer Pancake

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You ain’t worth a plug nickel.

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He’s like a bad penny.

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I hope that when I die, people say about me, ‘Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.’

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I don’t pretend to have all the answers; I don’t pretend to even know what the questions are… hey, where am I?

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He wouldn’t know his name if it won’t written in his shorts.

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She wouldn’t say shit if she had a mouthful.

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He has a face made for radio.

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Never laugh at a man, until you have walked a mile in his shoes; then you are a mile away, and you have his shoes.

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When I saw the old bum pushing his grocery cart down the street, at first I felt sorry for him; but then when I saw what was in his cart I thought, well, no wonder you’re a bum, look at the dumb things you bought.

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It’s funny, but when you look at an old man, then you look at a photo of him when he was a young man, then you look at the old man, then the photo, back and forth, pretty soon you’ll do whatever anybody tells you to.

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