Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 5)

Sorry as a two dollar watch.

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A face like a bee keepers apprentice

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I feel like the underside of a turnip green.

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I wanted to be that cranky old guy that stands on his porch and yells at the neighborhood kids.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
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You look like something the cat drug in and the dog won’t eat.

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It’s easy to sit and scoff at an old man’s folly… but also, check out his Adam’s apple!

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They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: “I am a fake mountain.”

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Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

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Her apron’s ridin’ high.

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Makes no never mind.

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Here’s a good tip for when you go to the beach: a sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don’t taste like it.

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What goes over the Devil’s back comes back over his belly.

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He’s so tight you could shove a quarter up his ass and he’d grind it into a dime.

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Now that’ll throw yer hat in the creek.

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Isn’t it funny how whenever a party seems to be winding down at somebody’s house, you can always keep it going just by talking a lot and eating and drinking whatever’s left?

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Were you raised in a barn?

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Our grandpas swapped horses.

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That gumbo will make a Chihuahua break a chain.

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Road Humps

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If it was raining soup, he'd be out in the yard with a fork.

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All the dress shops are sold out in Washington. It’s hard to find a great dress for this inauguration.

(1946 – ) American cretin & 45th U.S. president
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