Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 50)

Caught with your pants down.

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I bet it’s hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like “Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar.”

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He’s got a tough row to hoe

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A face like a boiled fist

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When poverty comes in the front door, love goes out the back.

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I’ll wear you out till your hide won’t hold shucks.

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I feel lower than a snake in snowshoes.

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If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, “Congratulations, it’s a girl,” I think a good gag would be to get real mad and yell, “A girl!? You must have me mixed up with THAT dork!” and point to another father.

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He looks like something the cat drug in and the dog wouldn't eat.

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If they ever build a statue of me, I hope they don’t have me with my mouth wide open and holding a sign that says “I love rotten eggs.”

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It's come a cloud.

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She is so smart, even her teachers play chess with her.

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Sure as a cat's got climbing gear.

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What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? … A pickpocket snatches watches.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
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If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.

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It’s cold enough to freeze a turkey off the roost.

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As tall as a Georgia pine

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Quieter than a graveyard

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Here’s a suggestion for a new animal; if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.

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Well look what the cat dragged in.

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Leanin' on the shovel

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