Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 51)

If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn’t get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you.

Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash.

Vanderbilt football coach

Remember what Daddy always says – an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!

(1967 – ) American actress & producer

I don’t pretend to have all the answers; I don’t pretend to even know what the questions are… hey, where am I?

A hangdog look

Slower than molasses in January

What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: “Why is it so dark in here?”

(1948 – ) English novelist

He’d have to get smarter… just to be stupid.

He ain’t a man to tie too.

He could talk a dog off a meat wagon.

He’s three sheets in the wind.

He’s so slippery he’d hold his own in a pond full of eels.

He acts like he is 10 feet tall and bullet proof.

If they ever have a haunted house for dogs, I think a good display would be a bathtub full of soapy water.

He looks like he stepped out of a bandbox.

Go off half-cocked

Have no axe to grind

He looked like Death sucking a sponge.

If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.

Busted two sets of knee caps

He couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat.