Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 51)

Peter Marshall: Helen Gurley Brown recently said of Henry Kissinger, "His most outstanding endearing quality is his ability to make someone feel…" Feel what?

Jan Murray: His thighs.

(1916 - 2006) American stand-up comedian, actor & game show host
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So hungry my belly thinks my throat's been cut.

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If that ain't right then grits ain't groceries.

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One bad thing about Lassie, she was always warning you about something; let me be surprised for a change.

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Can of corn

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To beat the band

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Every old crow thinks hers are the blackest.

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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like “no he didn’t, clearly there was a struggle”.

American comedian & actor
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Georgia buggy

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Man was predestined to have free will.

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Useless as tits on a boar hog

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It'd be quicker to train kudzu.

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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

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All the dress shops are sold out in Washington. It’s hard to find a great dress for this inauguration.

(1946 – ) American cretin & 45th U.S. president
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Faster than a scalded dog

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You ain’t worth a plug nickel.

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Madder than a hornet!

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When I think of all the hours and hours of my life I have spent watching television, it makes me realize, Man, I am really rich with television.

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Can’t the Marx Brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion and problems they’ve caused?

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Instead of building more bombs… let’s find more uses for the ones we already have.

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Chugged full.

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