Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Thursday, April 3, 2025
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 51)
If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn’t get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you.
Miscellaneous
Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash.
George MacIntyre
Vanderbilt football coach
Miscellaneous
Surveying the team roster that included 26 freshmen and 25 sophomores.
Remember what Daddy always says – an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!
Julia Roberts
(1967 – ) American actress & producer
Miscellaneous
As Shelby in “Steel Magnolias”
I don’t pretend to have all the answers; I don’t pretend to even know what the questions are… hey, where am I?
Miscellaneous
A hangdog look
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Looking sad or pitiful
Other expressions
Slower than molasses in January
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Slow speed
What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: “Why is it so dark in here?”
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Miscellaneous
Ancestors
He’d have to get smarter… just to be stupid.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
He ain’t a man to tie too.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Untrustworthy
He could talk a dog off a meat wagon.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Is very persuasive
Other expressions
He’s three sheets in the wind.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Drunk
Other expressions
He’s so slippery he’d hold his own in a pond full of eels.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Shady character
Slippery
Untrustworthy
He acts like he is 10 feet tall and bullet proof.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Conceit
He's full of himself
Other expressions
If they ever have a haunted house for dogs, I think a good display would be a bathtub full of soapy water.
Miscellaneous
He looks like he stepped out of a bandbox.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
To appear very neat and fashionable
Go off half-cocked
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Have only half the facts
Other expressions
Speak or act impulsively or prematurely
Have no axe to grind
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Have no gripe
No strong opinion
Other expressions
He looked like Death sucking a sponge.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
A really stupid person
Other expressions
Busted two sets of knee caps
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Walked too much
He couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A poor shot
Has poor aim
Other expressions
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