Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 53)

Cow Imagination

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Not blessed with beauty…

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Peter Marshall: Dale Evans recently revealed the three secrets behind her happy marriage with Roy Rogers. Now listen carefully… "We work together, we pray together and we're darn good…" What?

Paul Lynde: In the saddle.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Just cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.

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You’d walk her down the front row of a revival meeting.

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If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of Conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good idea to say, “I swallowed it… so sue me.”

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I was born on a Friday, but not last Friday.

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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like “no he didn’t, clearly there was a struggle”.

American comedian & actor
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To get clear water, go to the head of the branch.

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I'm happier than a woodpecker in a lumber yard.

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Never laugh at a man, until you have walked a mile in his shoes; then you are a mile away, and you have his shoes.

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Oops!

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I suwanne.

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Peter Marshall: Paul, is there such a thing as a female rooster?

Paul Lynde: Yeah, they're the ones who just go "a doodle doo!"

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If that ain't right then grits ain't groceries.

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You don’t know shit from apple butter!

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Piss on the fire and call in the dogs.

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You've heard the saying that every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time a mousetrap snaps, an angel gets set on fire.

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Yes, so it does.

(1869 – 1931) American politician
Miscellaneous Wordplay

It’s like swimming through peanut butter.

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Longer than a visit from my mother in law.

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