Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 54)

Took off like Moody's goose

Miscellaneous

If you can't hang with the big dawgs, get off the porch!

Miscellaneous

Does a bear shit in the woods?

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He’s so skinny… looks like he swapped legs with a wasp and got cheated out of the stinger!

Miscellaneous

She's uglier than homemade soap.

Miscellaneous

Warmin’ over old soup

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I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you’re having a good idea but it’s just eggs hatching.

Miscellaneous

Everybody’s in the same pew

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He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

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Most people don’t realize that two large pieces of coral painted brown and attached to the skull with common wood screws can make a child look like a deer.

Miscellaneous

Like a goose a-goin’ barefooted

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His head is full of stump water.

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When I was a baby I had no teeth, I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.

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Talk to the table.

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Makes my butt wanna grind corn!

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My father used to beat me with his belt… while it was still on him.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
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I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I’d have all my money back.

Miscellaneous

All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.

English football player
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like “no he didn’t, clearly there was a struggle”.

American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.

Miscellaneous

Broke out with money

Miscellaneous