Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 54)

Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes

Miscellaneous

For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.

Miscellaneous

I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

Miscellaneous

Go off half-cocked

Miscellaneous

If a cow had wheels, it would be a milk truck.

Miscellaneous

I don’t know who St. Valentine was, but I hope he died alone, surrounded by couples.

(1972 – ) English actress & comedian
Miscellaneous

That gumbo will make a Chihuahua break a chain.

Miscellaneous

If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I’d try to stay near the back; that way, if somebody shamed us into disbanding, I could sort of slip off to the side and pretend I was window-shopping or something.

Miscellaneous

Girlfriend Calling You Fat? You Probably Are. Ride Bike

Miscellaneous

Well, that puts the tassel on the cap.

Miscellaneous

Shut the light.

Miscellaneous

If you can't hang with the big dawgs, get off the porch!

Miscellaneous

I don’t do quagmires.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Miscellaneous

Give me some sugar.

Miscellaneous

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I’d like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

Miscellaneous

Unfortunately, all Coach Carter taught me was that I can actually scratch the first four verses of Revelations into the back of a theater chair with my fingernail in a little under two hours.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Miscellaneous Reviews/Criticism

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Miscellaneous

Crazy as a sack of bees.

Miscellaneous

In my next life, I hope I come back as a parrot, because I already know quite a few words.

Miscellaneous

Laugh, clown, laugh; this is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.

Miscellaneous

When I picked up the little dead mouse that my cat had killed, at first I felt sad… then I felt hungry; I forget what happened after that.

Miscellaneous