Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 55)

I was much further out than you thought, and not waving but drowning.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

Slower than a bread wagon with biscuit wheels.

Miscellaneous

That poor boy’s so slow, it would take him two hours to watch 60 minutes.

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This is gooder'n grits.

Miscellaneous

Don’t judge someone until they have tossed your salad.

(1954 – ) American actor & singer
Miscellaneous

Bobby Wheeler: We were wondering if you would join us for a few minutes?

Jim: Well, what did you decide?

(1938 – ) American actor
Miscellaneous

Tighter than a new boot

Miscellaneous

I don’t chew my cabbage twice!

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I’m on it like cheese on grits!

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He’s so tight when he blinks his eyes his toe’s curl up.

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Busier than a one eyed cat watching three mice holes.

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I'm out like a fat girl stealing second.

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Dumber than a barrel of hair

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Well, that puts the tassel on the cap.

Miscellaneous

It’s funny how two simple words, “I promise,” will stall people for a while.

Miscellaneous

The fly in the ointment.

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Hay is just the first stage of bullshit.

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Instead of past, present, and future, I’d prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Miscellaneous

If you can't hang with the big dawgs, get off the porch!

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I've had an apple out of that bag.

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Slower than molasses in January

Miscellaneous