Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 57)

You know what makes good hair for a snowman? … real hair; don’t ask me why, but it works.

Miscellaneous

Instead of putting a quarter under a kid’s pillow, how about a pine cone? … that way, he learns that ‘wishing’ isn’t going to save our national forests.

Miscellaneous

Fixments

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Makes no never mind.

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A daily festival of human suffering.

American professional road racing cyclist
Miscellaneous

That brush was so thick a dog couldn't bark in it.

Miscellaneous

Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Miscellaneous

Act like you’ve got some raisin.

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I’m touching cotton.

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A whistling woman and a crowing hen never comes to a very good end.

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Put it on the front door.

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No more sense than last year’s bird nest.

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This ain’t the first time I’ve brought chicken to a fish fry.

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They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: “I am a fake mountain.”

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Beard,  West Virginia

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She’d scare a haint up a thorn tree.

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As full of wind as a corn-eating horse

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Plum tuckered

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Too bad Lassie didn’t know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said “Lassie, go skate for help,” she could do it.

Miscellaneous

Steppin’ out

Miscellaneous