Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 57)

If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

Miscellaneous

That was faster than green grass through a goose.

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The Alcohall Of Fame

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If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.

Miscellaneous

I’ll Marry You Tomorrow (But Let’s Honeymoon Tonite)

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Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary

(1956 – ) American humorist, comedian & author
Miscellaneous

Consider the daffodil; and while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, looking through your stuff.

Miscellaneous

I’m as confused as a termite in a yo-yo.

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Like a buzzard roosted in it

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“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.

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Old as dirt

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She’s got more than one mule in her stable.

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Warmin’ over old soup

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Hotter than a two dollar pistol.

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The worst misfortune that can happen to an ordinary man is to have an extraordinary father.

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Fan the door

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It’s comin’ down a toad-floater.

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He is so green if you stuck him in the ground he would grow.

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I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out.

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If a bird had his brains, he fly backwards.

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Lower than a snake in a wagon track.

Miscellaneous