Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 58)

Girdler,  Kentucky

Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: Helen Gurley Brown recently said of Henry Kissinger, "His most outstanding endearing quality is his ability to make someone feel…" Feel what?

Jan Murray: His thighs.

(1916 - 2006) American stand-up comedian, actor & game show host
Miscellaneous

Dumber than a sack full of hammers.

Miscellaneous

Can of corn

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Faster than a scalded dog

Miscellaneous

Advice to vampires: why not “do your business” as a bat, not a human; easier that way, and less pollution.

Miscellaneous

I don’t do quagmires.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Miscellaneous

I don’t know which is worse… that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Miscellaneous

Once I beat up the school bully with a baseball bat; both his arms were completely broken, which is what gave me the courage to do it.

(1956 – ) American comedian
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So dry he had the rattles

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Like two peas in a pod.

Miscellaneous

If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts.

Miscellaneous

There is hope as long as your fishing-line is in the water.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

Well, ain’t that just tits on a duck!

Miscellaneous

Fall in for vittles.

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Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.

Miscellaneous

A face like a bee keepers apprentice

Miscellaneous

Road Humps

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Warmin’ over old soup

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He’s like a bad penny.

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Like three feet up a bull’s ass

Miscellaneous