Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 59)

It’s like swimming through peanut butter.

Miscellaneous

Show your linen

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Colder than a stepmother’s kiss

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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

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He’d skin a flea for the hide and tallow.

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His family tree is a trunk.

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That's like putting a side saddle on a boar hog!

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A bumblebee is faster than a tractor.

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We in the short rows.

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As full of wind as a corn-eating horse

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Warning to all outer-space guys: you can capture me and put me in your space zoo if you like, but I will sit way in the back of my cage, where it’s hard to see me… and when I do come out, I won’t be wearing any pants.

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Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,

Sermons and soda-water the day after.

(1788 – 1824) English poet
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Crespin’s Law of Observation

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She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night it Was Honor and Offer

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Shut the light.

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I ate dinner last night at a friend of mine’s house and he has – what do you call those things? … a baby.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
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Just because there is a rat in the barn doesn’t mean you need to burn it down.

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That land is so poor two red-headed women couldn’t raise a fuss on it.

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Boy howdy!

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Beard,  West Virginia

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She’d scare a haint up a thorn tree.

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