Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 6)

He went after it whole hog.

Miscellaneous

When You’re Hot, You’re Hot

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We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients… but we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

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She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.

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She could make a preacher cuss!

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Good news rarely comes in a brown envelope.

(1909 – 1976) British army officer, company director & politician
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Well, that puts the tassel on the cap.

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So hungry my belly thinks my throat's been cut.

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When I shake hands with a man, the first thing I do is look him right in the eye. Then I start poking my hand around in the air, like I can’t find his hand. Then, if the guy’s still there, I finally shake it.

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Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

(1946 – ) American comedian
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Hasn’t anyone ever warned Jacqueline Kennedy about Greeks bearing gifts?

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
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Crooked as a snake's back.

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If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.

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I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

Miscellaneous Song Titles

She's so pretty she could make a hound dog smile.

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I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died; ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
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The best way to behave is to misbehave.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
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To my way of thinking, there’s nothing that can’t be cured by a big ol’ pot of beans… except maybe bean fever.

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My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage; I take that as a compliment.

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like trying to herd cats

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Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, “Are you just going to sit around like that all day?”

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
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