Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 6)

Purty as a picture

Miscellaneous

Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

Miscellaneous

Skinny as a bean pole.

Miscellaneous

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Miscellaneous

I wouldn’t piss in his ear if his brain was on fire.

Miscellaneous

Speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin.

Voice in the back: Begin at the ninth.

Communication Miscellaneous Speech

Now that’ll throw yer hat in the creek.

Miscellaneous

Ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was circumnavigated.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

After such an introduction, I can hardly wait to hear what I’m going to say.

(1909 – 1977) British journalist
Miscellaneous

It was all still and Sunday-like.

Miscellaneous

He’d complain if you hung him with a new rope.

Miscellaneous

Colder than a stepmother’s kiss

Miscellaneous

Give me some sugar.

Miscellaneous

One-third sap and two-thirds Eleanor.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Miscellaneous

He ain't got no home trainin.

Miscellaneous

Women wear a pair of panties but only one bra.

(1946 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Miscellaneous

Don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash.

Miscellaneous

He's only got one oar in the water.

Miscellaneous

People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.

Miscellaneous

Going to hell in a handbasket

Miscellaneous

Don't let the bear get'cha.

Miscellaneous