Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 6)
Purty as a picture
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Attractive
Other expressions
Pretty
Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.
Miscellaneous
Skinny as a bean pole.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Skinny
You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Laziness
I wouldn’t piss in his ear if his brain was on fire.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin.
Voice in the back: Begin at the ninth.
Jacob Braude
Communication
Miscellaneous
Speech
Now that’ll throw yer hat in the creek.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Same as “ Well I'll be darned.”
Ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was circumnavigated.
Stewart Francis
Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous
Circumcised
After such an introduction, I can hardly wait to hear what I’m going to say.
Evelyn Anderson
(1909 – 1977) British journalist
Miscellaneous
It was all still and Sunday-like.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Calm
Other expressions
Quiet
He’d complain if you hung him with a new rope.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A person who is never satisfied
Complaining
Other expressions
Colder than a stepmother’s kiss
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Give me some sugar.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Give me a kiss.
Other expressions
One-third sap and two-thirds Eleanor.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Miscellaneous
On President Franklin D. Roosevelt
He ain't got no home trainin.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Poor manners
Rude
Women wear a pair of panties but only one bra.
Gallagher
(1946 – ) American comedian
Appearance
Clothing
Miscellaneous
Don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Don’t make statements that you can’t back up
Other expressions
He's only got one oar in the water.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.
Miscellaneous
Going to hell in a handbasket
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Going downhill fast
Headed for disaster
Other expressions
Don't let the bear get'cha.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Meaning don't quit or give up.
Other expressions
Page 6 of 75
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