Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 60)

Eatin’ long corn

Miscellaneous

Where are all the Sour Patch parents?

American comedian
Miscellaneous

Confucius say… no time for your health today; no health for your time tomorrow.

Miscellaneous

If you want your dreams to come true, don’t sleep.

Miscellaneous

Messed up as a soup sandwich

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Fix your plate.

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Mend fences.

Miscellaneous

If you need somebody to push you in the creek, just lemme know.

Miscellaneous

He’s screw a snake in a sandstorm if someone’d hold it out straight for him.

Miscellaneous

Up shit creek without a paddle

Miscellaneous

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Miscellaneous

If i was feelin any better i'd give five dollars for a good headache.

Miscellaneous

Proud as a dog with a hemstitched tail

Miscellaneous

It’s funny how two simple words, “I promise,” will stall people for a while.

Miscellaneous

Don’t start choppin’ till you’ve treed the coon.

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Laugh, clown, laugh; this is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.

Miscellaneous

Bulbous Bouffant

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If I ever get burned beyond recognition, and you can’t decide if it’s me or not, just put my funny fisherman’s hat on my head. “See, it’s me!”

Miscellaneous

When I told my therapist I have an imaginary dog he said; ‘Well, at least you don’t have to pick up shit in the street' … so I’ve stopped doing that.

comedian
Miscellaneous

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

Miscellaneous

It was so good it would have brought tears to a glass eye.

Miscellaneous