Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 60)

It's hotter than the four sides of Hell.

Miscellaneous

Her tongue was tied in the middle and loose at both ends.

Miscellaneous

Well, if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!

Miscellaneous

Here’s a suggestion for a new animal; if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.

Miscellaneous

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Miscellaneous

I’m fair to middlin’.

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I’m so poor that if it cost a nickle to go around the world, I couldn’t get out of sight.

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I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

Miscellaneous

She’s got more than one mule in her stable.

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She's so mad she's gonna raise sand.

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Mind that frayed cord – it’ll knock your pecker into yer watchpocket!

Miscellaneous

Ernest Borgnine Memorial Birthday Party

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The best way out is always through.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Miscellaneous

If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn’t get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you.

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The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother… they’ll settle for a puppy every time.

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As full of wind as a corn-eating horse

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If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off; you see, we build to that.

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Whenever you see a bunch of Italian guys talking Italian, just go up to them and start talking fake Italian. They may not understand you exactly, but at least everyone will get a nice warm “Italian” feeling.

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Anybody who has an identity problem had better wise up and get with the program!

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To “love on you”

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Met a guy this morning with a glass eye; he didn’t tell me – it just came out in the conversation.

(1954 – ) American writer
Miscellaneous Things