Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 61)

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Miscellaneous

Done done

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I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that says guilty or not guilty for you, as a sort of courtesy.

Miscellaneous

If there was a terrible storm outside, but somehow this dog lived through the storm, and he showed up at your door when the storm was finally over, I think a good name for him would be Carl.

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Planted corn before the fence was built

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The Horrible Movie Song

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Lupus,  Missouri

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All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.

English football player
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Well, shut my mouth.

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There was probably an old Viking saying that said, “Ax in the head, early to bed; ax in the helmet, a friend of Helmut.”

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… as clumsy as a blind dog in a meat house.

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Makes my butt wanna grind corn!

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Who put a bee in her bonnet?

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Ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was circumnavigated.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

No one is ever warmed by wool pulled over his eyes.

writer
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It’s funny how annoyed people get when you carry a bullhorn around all the time, even if you don’t use it that often.

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That was faster than green grass through a goose.

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A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

writer, editor & film reviewer
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Peter Marshall: At NASA, what keeps the cool air running around in the spacesuits?

Paul Lynde: Itsy bitsy Eskimoes….

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Sittin’ in the catbird seat

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Well tie me to a pig and role me in the mud!

Miscellaneous