Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 61)

I had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs… he wasn’t happy.

Miscellaneous

Just because there is a rat in the barn doesn’t mean you need to burn it down.

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Basket name

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I ate dinner last night at a friend of mine’s house and he has – what do you call those things? … a baby.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
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Cute as a sack full of puppies.

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If you’re a boxing referee, it’s probably illegal to wear a bow tie that spins or changes colors.

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Country as a churn

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In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
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He was so nervous, he could thread a sewing machine while it was running.

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Her apron’s ridin’ high.

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Who Walks In When I Walk Out?

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Not enough brains to give himself a headache!

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Sorry as a two dollar watch.

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To put the spit on the apple.

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Useless as tits on a boar hog

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I think they should continue the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for paneling.

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He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

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Not only was I not the best catcher in the major leagues, I wasn’t even the best catcher on my street.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
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If you want to fight me you better pack a lunch and bring a flashlight.

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If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say “How do you figger that!” real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

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Less chance than a snowball in Hell.

Miscellaneous