Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 62)

Nobody will ever notice it on a galloping horse.

Miscellaneous

If you’re being chased by an angry bull, and then you notice you’re also being chased by a swarm of bees, it doesn’t really change things… just keep on running.

Miscellaneous

Wouldn’t say soo-ee if the pigs were eating him

Miscellaneous

You didn’t pick up a crooked stick.

Miscellaneous

Who do you favor?

Miscellaneous

I could eat the horse and chase the jockey.

Miscellaneous

I’m going to paint your back porch red if you keep talkin like that!

Miscellaneous

He’s so dumb he couldn’t piss his name in the snow.

Miscellaneous

I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

Miscellaneous

Going ninety to nothin'

Miscellaneous

Out of soap

Miscellaneous

It’s hotter than a goat’s ass in a pepper patch.

Miscellaneous

It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones.

Miscellaneous

Tell a story

Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: At NASA, what keeps the cool air running around in the spacesuits?

Paul Lynde: Itsy bitsy Eskimoes….

Miscellaneous

Monster Mash

Miscellaneous

Intercourse,  Pennsylvania

Miscellaneous

Pretty is as pretty does.

Miscellaneous

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?

Miscellaneous

Old as dirt

Miscellaneous

Looking at me like a cow at a new fence.

Miscellaneous