Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 63)

If wishes were horses… beggars would ride.

Miscellaneous

He looks like he stepped out of a bandbox.

Miscellaneous

He’s gone to hell in a hand basket.

Miscellaneous

Don't stand behind a coughing cow.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

His porch light’s on, but he ain’t home!

Miscellaneous

After such an introduction, I can hardly wait to hear what I’m going to say.

(1909 – 1977) British journalist
Miscellaneous

He’s a good ol’ dog, but sometimes he sh*ts to close to the porch.

Miscellaneous

If you are 26 years old and you’re waking up under Star Wars sheets… the Force is not with you.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Miscellaneous

It's coming up a cloud.

Miscellaneous

Uglier than the southbound end of a northbound donkey.

Miscellaneous

It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something?

Miscellaneous

He was so nervous, he could thread a sewing machine while it was running.

Miscellaneous

Girdler,  Kentucky

Miscellaneous

Sweatin’ like a $2 whore in church

Miscellaneous

Full of piss and vinegar

Miscellaneous

Madder than’ a wampus cat

Miscellaneous

I’m on it like cheese on grits!

Miscellaneous

They ate supper before they said grace.

Miscellaneous

I don’t do quagmires.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Miscellaneous

Tighter than a new boot

Miscellaneous

She don’t have the sense God gave a gopher.

Miscellaneous