Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 63)

Throw the hatchet

Miscellaneous

It's cold enough to hang meat in here.

Miscellaneous

Speed Limit Enforced by Sniper

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I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

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If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.

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I'm gonna put knots on yor head faster than you can rub them.

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That takes the cake

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Boy howdy!

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Efficiency: The knack of getting somebody to do a job you don’t like.

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So cross-eyed he could look at his own head.

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Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic’?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
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He ain't sawing logs, he's clearing brush.

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That's as scarce as hen's teeth.

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Louder than two skeletons fighting on a tin roof.

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I’ll show you where the bear sat in the buckwheat.

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The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.

Businessman
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Probably one of the main problems with owning a robot is when you want him to go out in the snow to get the paper, he doesn’t want to go because it’s so cold, so you have to get out your whip and start whipping him, and the kids start crying, and oh why did I ever get this stupid robot?

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Where you stay?

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A rooster one day, a feather duster the next.

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Whenever you see a bunch of Italian guys talking Italian, just go up to them and start talking fake Italian. They may not understand you exactly, but at least everyone will get a nice warm “Italian” feeling.

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He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

Miscellaneous