Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 64)

Not particularly handsome

Miscellaneous

A face like a robber’s dog!

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Dumber than a box full of owl shit.

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He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

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If you lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas.

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To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

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He was grinnin' like a possum eatin' briars.

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The damned thing works!

(1906 – 1971) American inventor & television pioneer
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Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.

(1930 – 1990) English journalist, author & media personality
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So dry he had the rattles

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The best way out is always through.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares? … he’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
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Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.

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If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say “How do you figger that!” real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

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Got a face like a mile of unpaved road.

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I try to be as nice to her as I possibly can, because one day I may need part of her liver.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
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Basket name

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He’d complain if you hung him with a new rope.

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Seen better legs on a table.

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A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
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This mall Santa seems insulted that I put down that protective paper before sitting on his lap.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Miscellaneous