Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 64)

Like an old hen with one chick

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Fan the door

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I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our ‘friend.’

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Tall hog at the trough

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I'm feeling as low as a toad in a dry well.

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He is purse proud.

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How long is a piece of string?

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Cooter-backed road

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Well tie me to a pig and role me in the mud!

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I'm happier than a woodpecker in a lumber yard.

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I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.

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He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.

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Sorry as a two dollar watch.

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There is one question that probably drives just about every vampire crazy: “Oh, do you know Dracula?”

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Our humility is what makes us great.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
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If my dog was ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

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To have treed the coon

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To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

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He traveled a minute in thirty seconds.

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I’m gonna tan your hide.

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Quit bein’ ugly.

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