Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 68)

Being hugged by Diana Rigg is worth three sessions of chemotherapy.

(1921 – 2000) English Archbishop of Canterbury
Miscellaneous

You need to count your fingers after shaking hands with him.

Miscellaneous

Who died and left the gate open?

Miscellaneous

Don’t judge someone until they have tossed your salad.

(1954 – ) American actor & singer
Miscellaneous

She can burn water.

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He acts like he is 10 feet tall and bullet proof.

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… took a long dip in the ugly pond

Miscellaneous

Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous

Ernest Borgnine Memorial Birthday Party

Miscellaneous

I’d like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he’s flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground; now that’s a documentary!

Miscellaneous

A fine howdy-do

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As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party

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Natural enough to eat pie

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Well, cut my legs off and call me shorty.

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You're a dime holdin’ up a dollar.

Miscellaneous

If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, “Can’t you make it shoot farther?” “No, I’m sorry. That’s as far as it shoots.”

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That’s the worst taste I’ve had in my mouth with the lights on!

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Higher the hair, closer to God.

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You can’t measure a snake till ti’t stretched out dead.

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I had a survey done on my house; eight out of 10 people said they really rather liked it.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Miscellaneous

I was sad, because I had no shoes, until I met a man that had no feet; so, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan’t using them!

Miscellaneous