Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 69)

He looks like something the cat drug in and the dog wouldn't eat.

Miscellaneous

Congratulations On Your Latest Production. Am Sure It Will Look Better After It’s Been Cut.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Miscellaneous

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Miscellaneous

With every new sunrise, there is a new chance. But with every sunset, you blew it.

Miscellaneous

Sittin’ in the catbird seat

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Thirty years one summer

Miscellaneous

I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" and I answered, "It's a Boys."

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Miscellaneous

He's as country as a bowl of grits.

Miscellaneous

There was probably an old Viking saying that said, “Ax in the head, early to bed; ax in the helmet, a friend of Helmut.”

Miscellaneous

I had a survey done on my house; eight out of 10 people said they really rather liked it.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Miscellaneous

I’m as confused as a termite in a yo-yo.

Miscellaneous

Farmin’ in the woods

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“I’ve grown fat on the contents of charity packages,” said Tom carefully.

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He’s gone to hell in a hand basket.

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Like a two-forty trot

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If growing up in the ’80s taught me one thing, it’s that my friends and I should have found a treasure map by now.


Miscellaneous

I was as surprised as if a sheep had bit me.

Miscellaneous

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
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Southwest Airlines is like my period: it hurts my back and it’s always late.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Miscellaneous

The Origin of Feces: What Excrement Tells Us about Evolution, Ecology, and a Sustainable Society

Miscellaneous

Sloppier than two pigs in a bucket

Miscellaneous