Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 7)

Y’all have chairs.

Miscellaneous

I think it should be a law that if you ever get sucked up into a tornado, whatever you can grab with your hands while you’re swirling around up there, you get to keep.

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Like trying to sneak daylight past a rooster

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Tighter than a new boot

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Probably one of the worst things about being a genie in a magic lamp is a little thing called “lamp stench.”

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If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

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Well, ain’t he just the tom-cat’s kitten?

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He could tear up a railroad track with a rubber hammer.

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I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around.

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I don’t know who St. Valentine was, but I hope he died alone, surrounded by couples.

(1972 – ) English actress & comedian
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If growing up in the ’80s taught me one thing, it’s that my friends and I should have found a treasure map by now.


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If you can paint a really good picture of a cow, you don’t have to write the word “cow” under it.

(1896 – 1985) U.S. senator (North Carolina)
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When I pick up a handful of sand at the beach and let it dribble through my fingers, I think, Man, this is not a very good vacation.

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I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver, and since he is so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

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We don’t air our dirty laundry out in public.

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Whenever I need to ‘get away,’ I just get away in my mind; I go to my imaginary spot, where the beach is perfect and the water is perfect and the weather is perfect; the only bad thing there are the flies… they’re terrible!

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Ten pounds of potatoes in a five pound sack

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Righter en rain?

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You could throw her in a river and skim ugly for two days.

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To my way of thinking, there’s nothing that can’t be cured by a big ol’ pot of beans… except maybe bean fever.

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Sure as the vine twines 'round the stump, you are my darlin' sugar lump.

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