Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 7)
Ready with his hat and slow with his money.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
I’m gonna tan your hide.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A threat
Other expressions
I’m on it like cheese on grits!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
I'll get right to it
I'm taking care of it
Other expressions
It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something?
Miscellaneous
You need to dance with them what brung you.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Don’t forget those who helped you
Loyalty
Other expressions
Stay with what works
Well, shoot me for a billygoat.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
I’ll be a monkey’s uncle
Other expressions
Well
Well I'll be darned
He looks like something the cat drug in and the dog wouldn't eat.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Looking worn out
Other expressions
Tell a story
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Tell a lie
Slower than a bread wagon with biscuit wheels.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
He’s three limbs up a willa.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Crazy
Other expressions
Willow tree
He’s a good ol’ dog, but sometimes he sh*ts to close to the porch.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Shouldn’t get in trouble near home
He could talk a dog off a meat wagon.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Is very persuasive
Other expressions
I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!
Miscellaneous
Well, slap my head and call me silly.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
I wouldn't speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying a big lump of ice.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
He gets Tuesday’s paper on Friday.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
He gets Tuesday’s paper on Friday.
Other expressions
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares? … he’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes.
Billy Connolly
(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Miscellaneous
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off; you see, we build to that.
Miscellaneous
Turn the truth
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
To change the facts to suit one’s purpose
He has a face made for radio.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Face
Other expressions
Page 7 of 75
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