Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 70)

He's busier than a cat with two tails.

Miscellaneous

Avon In The Amazon

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Happier than a two peckerd billy goat.

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I’m just guessing, but probably one of the early signs that your radarscope is wearing out is something I call “image fuzz-out,” but I’ve never even seen a radarscope, so I wouldn’t totally go by what I’ve just said here.

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To beat the band

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I’m not sure I want to get the nickname “The Love Machine,” because how does that affect my nickname now, which is “The Lawn-Cutting Machine?”

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What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream? .. or what'’s worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
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Southwest Airlines is like my period: it hurts my back and it’s always late.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
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He is purple – the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle – the gay pride symbol.

(1933 – 2007) Am. evangelical pastor, televangelist, & political commentator
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He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection; I guess that’s what I hated about him.

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Girl, you look so good I could take you home and sop you up with a biscuit.

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Like two peas in a pod.

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If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.

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Were you raised in a barn?

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I feel bad for the guys who did steroids and still suck.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Miscellaneous

Not being born to parents who were accountants was probably my biggest mistake.

British boxing champion
Boxing Miscellaneous Sports

I’ll show you where the bear sat in the buckwheat.

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I’ve wondered where this [fear of clowns] started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.

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Eatin’ long corn

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I’m gonna have a ‘Come to Jesus’ meeting with him.

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I remember when I was in the army, we had the toughest drill sergeant in the world. He’d get right up next to your face and yell, and if you didn’t have the right answers, mister, you’d be peeling potatoes or changing the latrine. Hey, wait. I wasn’t in the army. Then who WAS that guy?!

Miscellaneous