Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 70)

His face was all plowed up

Miscellaneous

This is gooder'n grits.

Miscellaneous

Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

Miscellaneous

Looks like you came to a goat’s house for wool!

Miscellaneous

Well, knock me down and call me 'Shorty'!

Miscellaneous

Plastic Jesus

Miscellaneous

Though a scant 100 minutes long, After Earth feels longer and slower than your average PBS pledge drive.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous

She is so smart, even her teachers play chess with her.

Miscellaneous

He learned to whisper in a sawmill.

Miscellaneous

Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.

Miscellaneous

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous

If you’re robbing a bank and you’re pants fall down, I think it’s okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

Miscellaneous

Poor as gully dirt

Miscellaneous

Can’t the Marx Brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion and problems they’ve caused?

Miscellaneous

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Miscellaneous

Fix your plate.

Miscellaneous

If promises were persimmons, possums could eat good at her place.

Miscellaneous

She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night it Was Honor and Offer

Miscellaneous

Didn’t lick it off a stone

Miscellaneous

We didn't plan to take 'em to raise.

Miscellaneous

If he had a brain and was a bird, he’d fly backwards.

Miscellaneous