Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 71)

I sold my house this week… I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Miscellaneous Things

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Miscellaneous

The water was higher than a cat’s back.

Miscellaneous

There are no requests for jugglers – only ‘Don’t juggle!’

Miscellaneous

You look like something the cat drug in and the dog won’t eat.

Miscellaneous

This ain't my first rodeo.

Miscellaneous

It's like trying to nail Jell-O® to a wall.

Miscellaneous

Girdler,  Kentucky

Miscellaneous

It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.

Miscellaneous

Madder than a hornet!

Miscellaneous

A whistling woman and a crowing hen never comes to a very good end.

Miscellaneous

It’s hotter than the hinges of Hell.

Miscellaneous

You need to dance with them what brung you.

Miscellaneous

I wouldn’t mind if animals ate my body, after I’m dead. And before I’m dead, they could lick me.

Miscellaneous

He’s like a bad penny.

Miscellaneous

This gravy's so good, if you get it on your forehead your tongue's gonna slap your brains out!

Miscellaneous

Were you raised in a barn?

Miscellaneous

Proud as a dog with a hemstitched tail

Miscellaneous

I'm fixin' to go down the road a piece.

Miscellaneous

As long as Pat stayed in the army

Miscellaneous

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Miscellaneous