Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 71)

Tight as a tick

Miscellaneous

I like a gal where her skin fits a little better.

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He ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed!

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I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.

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Like a peach-orchard bull

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Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian
Miscellaneous

I don’t know which is worse… that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
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It’s fascinating to think that all around us there’s an invisible world we can’t even see. I’m speaking, of course, of the world of the Invisible Scary Skeletons.

Miscellaneous

One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost and people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Miscellaneous People Self

How many people have never raised their hand before?

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
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Is a pig's ass pork?

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You don't have the sense God gave a gnat.

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Don’t keep reaching for the stars because you’ll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
Miscellaneous

Whenever I start thinking that I am not living up to my potential, I remind myself of the old farmer and his fight to the death with the insane pig. It’s an exciting story, and it takes my mind off all this “potential” business.

Miscellaneous

If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

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If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where that glove has been.

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Sleepier than a river coon

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I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver, and since he is so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

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Mean enough to charge hell with a quart of ice water.

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Be like the old lady who fell out of the wagon.

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Faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.

Miscellaneous