Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 71)

He is purse proud.

Miscellaneous

I’d like to see a James Bond movie where James Bond gets behind financially and maybe has to take out a bill consolidation loan, because even when he’s applying for the loan he’s still real smart-alecky.

Miscellaneous

Avon In The Amazon

Miscellaneous

I don’t pay him no nevermind.

Miscellaneous

If i was feelin any better i'd give five dollars for a good headache.

Miscellaneous

If you want to fight me you better pack a lunch and bring a flashlight.

Miscellaneous

You look like you were pulled through a knothole backwards.

Miscellaneous

Those wise decisions you make when you’re young are those foolish ones you’ll live with when your old.

Miscellaneous

He’s so ugly, he’s gotta sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.

Miscellaneous

Sure as a cat's got climbing gear.

Miscellaneous

It's hotter than a ginger mill in Hell.

Miscellaneous

I never made a mistake in my life… I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Miscellaneous

It's hotter than Georgia asphalt.

Miscellaneous

Hornier than a two pecker'd billy goat on a hill full of ninnies.

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I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out.

Miscellaneous

Many people don’t realize that playing dead can help not only with bears, but also at important business meetings.

Miscellaneous

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

The water won’t clear till you get the hogs out of the creek.

Miscellaneous

It’s funny, but when you look at an old man, then you look at a photo of him when he was a young man, then you look at the old man, then the photo, back and forth, pretty soon you’ll do whatever anybody tells you to.

Miscellaneous

He’s got molasses in his britches.

Miscellaneous

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? And after you’re real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep.

Miscellaneous