Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 72)

When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Ya-hoo! We’re rich! But it turned out to be something different.

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Hotter than Satan’s housecat.

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I'll slap you nekkid and hide your clothes.

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There are no requests for jugglers – only ‘Don’t juggle!’

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It’s hotter than a fritter!

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He ain't got no home trainin.

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If that boy had a good idea it would die of loneliness.

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One foot in the grave

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Sometimes life seems like a dream… especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

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What in the Sam Hill are you doing?

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She’s cuter than a bug’s ear.

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Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

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It's cold enough to hang meat in here.

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Give me some sugar.

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She’s about a half a bubble off plumb.

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He was so slick he could steal the sweet from sugar without touching a grain

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So ugly the tide wouldn’t take her out.

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Slow as Christmas

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Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

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Those wise decisions you make when you’re young are those foolish ones you’ll live with when your old.

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I never made a mistake in my life… I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Miscellaneous