Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 72)
What goes over the Devil’s back comes back over his belly.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Bad
Money earned sinfully is usually spent on sin
Other expressions
You learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life.
Paul Dietzel
American football player, coach & administrator
Miscellaneous
Character
Railroad time
Country definition
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
The correct time
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.
Miscellaneous
Devil's beating his wife with a frying pan
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Rain
When it’s raining on a sunny day
Crazy as a dog in a hub cap factory.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
He's got both feet in the trough.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Said of someone eating vigorously
I was Caesarean born; you can’t really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through the window.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous
Self
Caesarean birth
I wouldn’t mind if animals ate my body, after I’m dead. And before I’m dead, they could lick me.
Miscellaneous
He just sits there like a bump on a log.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Immobile
Other expressions
Unresponsive
I’d like to see a movie where a guy is going to die when the sand runs out of an hourglass, but then at the last minute an ant stops the sand from running out. Then the rest of the movie is about the ant.
Miscellaneous
Not only was I not the best catcher in the major leagues, I wasn’t even the best catcher on my street.
Joe Garagiola
(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Miscellaneous
Referring to childhood neighbor ‘Yogi’ Berra
Happier 'n a puppy with two peters.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
It’s too bad cowboys didn’t eat much pizza back in the old west, because I think a good painting would be a cowboy giving his last slice to his horse.
Miscellaneous
She’s lost as last years Easter egg.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Every dog has his day.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Everyone shines someday
Other expressions
There is only one immutable law in life – in a gentleman’s toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.
Hugh Leonard
(1926 – 2009) Irish dramatist, television writer & essayist
Miscellaneous
He went after it whole hog.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
With enthusiasm
He has enough money to burn a wet mule.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Someone with a lot of disposable income.
People need to realize that every time they talk about how “fragile” our planet is, it’s just like asking outer-space aliens to come invade us.
Miscellaneous
I didn’t just fall off a turnip truck.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
I wasn't born yesterday
I'm not ignorant/gullible
Naive
Other expressions
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