Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 75)

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Too mean for Jesus, too dumb for the Devil

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What makes Teflon stick to the pan?

(1946 – ) American comedian
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Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages

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Slow as pond water.

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Full of piss and vinegar

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If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.

Miscellaneous

Bank walker

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There is only one immutable law in life – in a gentleman’s toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.

(1926 – 2009) Irish dramatist, television writer & essayist
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I'm gonna peck a knot on your head!

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Don’t trust the heart, it wants your blood.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
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He’s steal a chaw of tobacco out of your mouth if you yawned.

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I read that when the archaeologists dug down into the ancient cemetery, they found fragments of human bones! What kind of barbarians were these people, anyway?

Miscellaneous