Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 75)

Crooked as a snake's back.

Miscellaneous

I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!

Miscellaneous

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages

Miscellaneous

You ain’t worth a plug nickel.

Miscellaneous

He acts like he’s ten feet tall and bullet-proof.

Miscellaneous

If you ever feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just follow these simple rules: first, calm down; second, come over and wash my car; third, shine all my shoes; there, isn’t that better?

Miscellaneous

Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous

I’ll knock you in the head and tell God you died.

Miscellaneous

Yes, so it does.

(1869 – 1931) American politician
Miscellaneous Wordplay

I don't think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my home planet.

Miscellaneous

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?

Miscellaneous

Plastic Jesus

Miscellaneous

I’m goin’ to be on you quicker than a duck on a June bug.

Miscellaneous