Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 75)

Congratulations On Your Latest Production. Am Sure It Will Look Better After It’s Been Cut.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Miscellaneous

I guess if I was starving to death I would eat a dog; but not a collie, because I don’t like the taste of collie.

Miscellaneous

Heart, We Did All We Could

Miscellaneous

What would annoy me if a space visitor ever came to our planet would be if he kept talking about things in “his world.” Your world? We don’t give a flying hoot about your world.

Miscellaneous

Remember what Daddy always says – an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
Miscellaneous

A rooster one day, a feather duster the next.

Miscellaneous

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Clothing Life Miscellaneous

It’s got tits or tires, you’re gonna have trouble with it.

Miscellaneous

Like a jackass in a tin stable

Miscellaneous

If you want to fight me you better pack a lunch and bring a flashlight.

Miscellaneous

I’m a psychic amnesiac… I know in advance what I’ll forget.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

I was lying in bed last night and I couldn’t sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Miscellaneous

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous