Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 8)

He’d complain if you hung him with a new rope.

Hangin’ in there like a hair in a biscuit.

One time I don’t think you should listen to your body is when it says “I’m dead.”

I’m covered up.

We didn't plan to take 'em to raise.

Jump the broomstick

If You’re Gonna Do Me Wrong, Do It Right

Who put a bee in her bonnet?

I wish to my never.

He ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed!

Practical Demonkeeping


He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow.

I wonder if Dracula ever has ticks.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

If [such and such happens] then it’s Katie bar the door.

If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don’t let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day. Later, he’ll thank you.

Planted corn before the fence was built

If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

Shit fire and save matches

Living high on the hog

A mule can’t help it if his daddy is a jackass.