Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 8)

He’d complain if you hung him with a new rope.

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Hangin’ in there like a hair in a biscuit.

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One time I don’t think you should listen to your body is when it says “I’m dead.”

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I’m covered up.

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We didn't plan to take 'em to raise.

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Jump the broomstick

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If You’re Gonna Do Me Wrong, Do It Right

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Who put a bee in her bonnet?

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I wish to my never.

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He ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed!

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Practical Demonkeeping


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He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow.

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I wonder if Dracula ever has ticks.

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I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

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If [such and such happens] then it’s Katie bar the door.

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If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don’t let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day. Later, he’ll thank you.

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Planted corn before the fence was built

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If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

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Shit fire and save matches

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Living high on the hog

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A mule can’t help it if his daddy is a jackass.

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