Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 8)

More than plenty

Miscellaneous

Leanin' on the shovel

Miscellaneous

The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.

Businessman
Miscellaneous

He’d have to get smarter… just to be stupid.

Miscellaneous

Sip 'N See

Miscellaneous

I sold my house this week… I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Miscellaneous Things

Slower than a Sunday afternoon.

Miscellaneous

It’s hotter than a goat’s ass in a pepper patch.

Miscellaneous

In some countries, what I did would be considered polite, especially Fartland.

Miscellaneous

You’re like the dog that caught the car.

Miscellaneous

Who Walks In When I Walk Out?

Miscellaneous

Bobby Wheeler: We were wondering if you would join us for a few minutes?

Jim: Well, what did you decide?

(1938 – ) American actor
Miscellaneous

If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, “Congratulations, it’s a girl,” I think a good gag would be to get real mad and yell, “A girl!? You must have me mixed up with THAT dork!” and point to another father.

Miscellaneous

Fan the door

Miscellaneous

He/She’s got teeth like a rake.

Miscellaneous

Ready with his hat and slow with his money

Miscellaneous

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

Miscellaneous

I quit my job at the helium gas factory – I didn’t like being spoken to in that voice.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Miscellaneous Speech

I could stand flat footed and piss over a dump truck.

Miscellaneous

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Miscellaneous

Madder than a hornet!

Miscellaneous