Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 8)

He’s going to blow the gates of hell wide open when he goes.

Miscellaneous

Happier than a two peckerd billy goat.

Miscellaneous

I’ll tie a knot in yer tail

Miscellaneous

There were so many people in that place, you couldn't stir 'em with a stick.

Miscellaneous

It was all still and Sunday-like.

Miscellaneous

I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" and I answered, "It's a Boys."

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Miscellaneous

I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote,” so right before I die I could say “unquote.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

That coffee's strong enough to float an iron spoon.

Miscellaneous

I think my friend Jeff is gay; I don’t know – I’m so bad with names.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Miscellaneous

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Clothing Life Miscellaneous

Looking at me like a cow at a new fence.

Miscellaneous

Hotter than a June bride.

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Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash.

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I'll slap you to sleep, then slap you for sleepin.

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She’s about a half a bubble off plumb.

Miscellaneous

Why is there so much pressure to spend Independence Day with other people?

American actress, comedian, writer & musician
Miscellaneous

You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.

Miscellaneous

I wouldn’t mind if animals ate my body, after I’m dead. And before I’m dead, they could lick me.

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He's tighter than a fiddle string

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Finer than frog's hair

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I’ll never forget the time that skunk got under the house and Grandpa went under to get him…. boy, it smelled for months… you know, that was the last time we ever saw Grandpa.

Miscellaneous