Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 9)

There is only one immutable law in life – in a gentleman’s toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.

(1926 – 2009) Irish dramatist, television writer & essayist
Miscellaneous

In some countries, what I did would be considered polite, especially Fartland.

Miscellaneous

I don’t know which is worse… that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Miscellaneous

I feel bad for the guys who did steroids and still suck.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Miscellaneous

Mom always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, within reason; when I asked her what she meant by within reason, she said that I ask a lot of questions for a garbage man.

Miscellaneous

Caught with your pants down.

Miscellaneous

Either fish or cut bait.

Miscellaneous

Give a man a fish and it will feed him for a day, give the man a fishing rod and he will sell it for more fish, or burn it for firewood.

(1968 – ) English impressionist & comedian
Miscellaneous Proverbs

I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can’t hypnotize you.

Miscellaneous

Out of soap

Miscellaneous

Like a goose a-goin’ barefooted

Miscellaneous

That gumbo will make a Chihuahua break a chain.

Miscellaneous

Gridlock Christmas

Miscellaneous

Girdler,  Kentucky

Miscellaneous

We always go to bed with the chickens.

Miscellaneous

About as useful as gooseshit on a pumphandle

Miscellaneous

Side gal

Miscellaneous

I’m not sure I want to get the nickname “The Love Machine,” because how does that affect my nickname now, which is “The Lawn-Cutting Machine?”

Miscellaneous

Well I’ll be John Brown.

Miscellaneous

Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Miscellaneous

I’m fair to middlin’.

Miscellaneous