Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 9)

Shut the light.

Miscellaneous

For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

Miscellaneous

I don’t know whether to help you or euthanize you.

(1980 – ) Canadian actor, director, writer & musician
Miscellaneous

Let me hug your neck.

Miscellaneous

He has enough money to burn a wet mule.

Miscellaneous

You couldn’t catch a catfish in a coffee cup.

Miscellaneous

Ernest Borgnine Memorial Birthday Party

Miscellaneous

People were always talking about how mean this guy was who lived on our block. But I decided to go see for myself. I went to his door, but he said he wasn’t the mean guy, the mean guy lived in that house over there. “No, you idiot,” I said, “that’s my house.”

Miscellaneous

Tighter than a new boot

Miscellaneous

Life is a constant battle between the heart and the brain; but guess who wins… the skeleton.

Miscellaneous

That girl’s meaner than cuss!

Miscellaneous

About as useful as buttons on a dishrag

Miscellaneous

He lost his hat, ass, and spats!

Miscellaneous

Doesn’t know shit from Shinola

Miscellaneous

When You’re Hot, You’re Hot

Miscellaneous

Thirty years one summer

Miscellaneous

Anybody who has an identity problem had better wise up and get with the program!

Miscellaneous

Pencil Neck Geek

Miscellaneous

Instead of putting a quarter under a kid’s pillow, how about a pine cone? … that way, he learns that ‘wishing’ isn’t going to save our national forests.

Miscellaneous

Fell down cup over kettle.

Miscellaneous

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head’s showing and gone ‘Philip, look at me! I’m a stamp!'

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
England Miscellaneous