Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 9)

Too mean for Jesus, too dumb for the Devil

Miscellaneous

You’ve got the saw by the wrong tree.

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Rehabilitation

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It's not easy to cut through a human head with a hacksaw.

(1942 – 2008) American author, producer, director & screenwriter
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He's tighter than a fiddle string

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Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

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Nobody here but us chickens.

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I’m goin’ to be on you quicker than a duck on a June bug.

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Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary

(1956 – ) American humorist, comedian & author
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My boss rides me like a sway back mule.

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It’s so good, it makes you want to slap your momma!

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I wouldn’t mind if animals ate my body, after I’m dead. And before I’m dead, they could lick me.

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He has a heart of gold… only harder.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
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There’s a world that we know nothing about, that we can only imagine… and that is the world of books.

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I spoke to her and she didn't say pea turkey squat.

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Hotter than Satan’s housecat.

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If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Miscellaneous

She’s got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth.

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In my opinion anyone interested in improving himself should not rule out becoming pure energy.

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Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, “You know most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group.”
Yeah, I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

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Many people don’t realize that playing dead can help not only with bears, but also at important business meetings.

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