Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Misspokements
(Page 31)
Tito Fuentes is safe at second with a triple.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Throwing bricks and bottles, it’s like a regular
inserruption.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Insurrection
It’s a very good historical book about history.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Books
Communication
History
Misspokements
Frentzen is taking… er… reducing that gap between himself and Frentzen.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
He is a very dangerous bowler… innocuous, if you like.
David Lloyd
cricket coach
Misspokements
Sports
Cricket
Discussing Chris Harris
A
well-boiled icicle
William Archibald Spooner
(1844 – 1930) English dean at Oxford whose name is given to the accidental transposition of sounds of two or more words
Misspokements
A well-oiled bicycle
Spoonerism
Niloleum
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Lineoleum
You’re breakin’ about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
(He) started out here with the Astros and before that he was with the Orioles.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements
Sports
We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America
Education
Intelligence
Misspokements
Places
World
My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.
Chuck Nevitt
college basketball player
Misspokements
Explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice
You mix two jiggers of scotch with one jigger of Metracal [a diet supplement]; so far, I’ve lost five pounds and my driver’s license.
Rocky Bridges
(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Misspokements
Describing a diet drink he invented
The Minutemen are not tall in terms of height.
Dan Bonner
Basketball analyst & sportscaster
Basketball
Misspokements
Sports
During a UMass basketball game
The only way that Miami will beat Florida St. is if they outscore them.
'Beano' Cook
(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football
Misspokements
Sports
I’m 50 years of old.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Age
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
The symbol of peace… the pigeon!
Jimmy Magee
Irish sports broadcaster
Misspokements
Sports
At the World Cup opening ceremony
Owww… it caught ‘em right in the pants area.
Chico Resch
(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey
Misspokements
Sports
We have a firm commitment to Europe; we are a part of Europe.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements
Places
Europe
That’s a genuine
fac-same-ully.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Facsimile
Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna’s Lotus sounding rough?
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
It’s got lots of
installation.
Mike Smith
professional baseball player
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Describing his new coat
Page 31 of 53
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