Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Misspokements
(Page 39)
Spencer’s running across field calling out, ‘Come inside me, come inside me.’
Murray Mexted
New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Rugby
I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? … Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’
Frank Layden
American basketball coach & executive
Basketball
Misspokements
Sports
On a former player
This is only a little
mispensation.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Compensation
Michael Owen isn't the tallest of lads, but his height more than makes up for that.
Mark Lawrenson
English football player & announcer
Misspokements
Sports
Jenson Button is in the top ten… in eleventh position.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
In the Moscow Olympics Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champion’s race.
David Coleman
(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs
Misspokements
Sports
If Roosevelt was alive, he'd turn over in his grave.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements
Oxymorons
I know this music from memory, not from the music.
Eugene Ormandy
(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment
Memory
Misspokements
Music
Son, we’d like to keep you around this season but we’re going to try and win a pennant.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
On demoting a player
But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.
Sarah Palin
(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Misspokements
Places
Allies
North Korea
Finley is going over to get a new piece of bat.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America
Education
Intelligence
Misspokements
Places
World
Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.
Alex Rodriguez
professional baseball player
Misspokements
Sports
On the benefits of seeing a therapist
Getting cut in the face is a pain in the butt.
Theo Fleury
Canadian hockey player
Hockey
Misspokements
Sports
Oxymorons
He's ranked number three in Britain, number four in the world. You can't get any higher!
John Lowe
English darts player
Misspokements
Sports
Darts
He's got a great future ahead; he's missed so much of it.
Terry Venables
English football player & manager
Misspokements
Welcome to Worcester where we have just seen Barry Richards hit one of Basil D'Oliveira's balls clean out of the ground.
Brian Johnston
cricket announcer
Misspokements
Sports
Cricket
Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.
John Madden
(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football
Misspokements
Sports
You could be like Anita
O’Brien,
hustlin’ fruits.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Anita Bryant
And later on, it’s the Syracuse Orangemen against the Indiana Hoosiers from Hawaii.
An unknown sportscaster
Misspokements
Places
Play some Picasso.
Chris Morris
professional basketball player
Misspokements
Sports
To a piano player at a hotel bar while trying to impress a date
Page 39 of 53
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