Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Misspokements
(Page 47)
That home run ties it up, 1-0.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
The two of us all alone and, well, we was
imminent
together.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Intimate
Marshall's bowling with his head.
Unknown cricket commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Cricket
It’s a very good historical book about history.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Books
Communication
Misspokements
Reading/Writing
Owww… it caught ‘em right in the pants area.
Chico Resch
(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey
Misspokements
Sports
Historically, the host nations do well in Euro 2000.
Trevor Brooking
English football player & analyst
Misspokements
Sports
Never make predictions… especially about the future.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Future
Misspokements
Time
(also Casey Stengel)
Predictions
You either win or you lose… there's no in between.
Terry Venables
English football player & manager
Misspokements
In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas; ten thousand people died – an entire town destroyed.
Barack Obama
(1961 – ) 44th U.S. president
Misspokements
On a Kansas tornado that killed 12 people
If ever an error had ‘F’ written on it, that grounder did.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
… another dropped out when diarrhea slowed him to the point of elimination.
James Richardson
Cycling commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Cycling
On the Tour de France
In the hunt to buy the San Francisco Giants was George Shinn, owner of the Charlotte Harlots.
Ralph Kiner
(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
[Hornets]
We’ve lost our last eight matches. The only team that we have beaten is Western Samoa. It’s a good job we didn’t play the whole of Samoa!
Gareth Davies
Welsh rugby player
Misspokements
Sports
Rugby
His strength is his strength, his strength is.
Kevin Keegan
English football player & manager
Colemanballs
Misspokements
People in Preston ward are invited to a meeting at 7.15 pm tonight in St. Mary's Church Hall… to meet councillors and beat police officers.
John F. Hylan
Mayor of New York
Misspokements
My brain beats faster.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my @#%#%@ clothes.
Stu Grimson
professional hockey player
Hockey
Misspokements
Sports
I made a wrong mistake.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Misspokements
Mistakes
Problems
Yogi-isms
And now the sequence of events in no particular order.
Dan Rather
(1931 – ) television newscaster
Misspokements
I don’t like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him.
Murray Mexted
New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Rugby
Yeah, I'm cocky and I am arrogant, but that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person.
Jeremy Roenick
professional hockey player
Misspokements
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Marshall's bowling with his head.