Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Misspokements
(Page 47)
I don’t pay any attention to him… I don’t even ignore him.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements
I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.
Alan Shearer
Colemanballs
Misspokements
I’ve got ten pairs of training shoes… one for every day of the week.
Samantha Fox
(1966 – ) English dance-pop singer, actress & former model
Appearance
Clothing
Misspokements
How they arrived at their conclusions behooves me.
Vince Ferragamo
professional football player
Misspokements
Conclusions
You’ve got to take the bitter with the sour.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Characteristics
Misspokements
Speech
Bad
Good
I’m rich; what am I supposed to do, hide it?
Lou Whitaker
professional baseball player
Misspokements
Sports
After arriving in a stretch limo for a players’ union meeting during the 1994 baseball strike
Interviewer: Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?
Chris Eubank: On what?
Chris Eubank
British boxing champion
Boxing
Misspokements
Sports
The officer ain’t interested in no
renimiscences
of yours.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Remembrances
Reminiscing
Because there are no fours.
Antoine Walker
professional basketball player
Basketball
Misspokements
Sports
On why he attempts so many three point shots
I don’t think this is an example of life and limb being at risk; I like the fact that our fans care.
Carmen Policy
football team president
Football
Misspokements
Sports
After some fans were arrested for throwing bottles onto the field to protest the overturning of a game-deciding call by replay
All the Padres need is a flyball in the air.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
This evening is a very different evening from the morning we had this morning.
David Coleman
(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs
Misspokements
Time
The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team; it seems as if they have their future ahead of them.
Curt Gowdy
(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Future
Misspokements
Sports
Things
Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
I paid too much for it, but it’s worth it.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements
Money
Andujar Cedeno to lead it off; he swings… and he is hit by a pitch… and it is hit over the wall and out of here for a home run.
Ralph Kiner
(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.
Steve Ryder
Golf
Misspokements
Sports
Covering the U.S. Masters
If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication
Failure
Misspokements
Speech
Success
Getting cut in the face is a pain in the butt.
Theo Fleury
Canadian hockey player
Hockey
Misspokements
Sports
Oxymorons
They seem cold out there, they’re rubbing each other and he’s only come in his shorts.
Michael Buerk
television journalist & newscaster
Misspokements
On watching producer and author Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC eclipse coverage
He slides into second with a stand up double.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
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