Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Misspokements
(Page 52)
I play football… I’m not trying to be a professor; the tests don’t seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school.
Ray Forsythe
Clemson football recruit
Football
Misspokements
Sports
After being declared ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements
Being a decathlete is like having ten girlfriends. You have to love them all, and you can't afford losing one.
Daley Thompson
British Olympic decathlon champion
Misspokements
Sports
Decathlon
Defensively, I think it’s important for us to tackle.
Karl Mecklenburg
professional football player
Football
Misspokements
Sports
Before Super Bowl XXIV
As I said before and I said yesterday, this is one of the key questions that will be decided or not decided at Edinburgh.
Douglas Hurd
British politician & novelist
Misspokements
Larry Lintz steals second standing up… he slid, but he didn’t have to.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Some quiet guys are inwardly outgoing.
Ralph Kiner
(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
People
Sports
I told him he’d have a heart attack a year ago, but unfortunately he lived a year longer.
Eugene Ormandy
(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Health
Misspokements
On the death of David Oistrakh
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared.’
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication
Misspokements
Responsibilities
Vice president
Willie Davis is not as young as he used to be.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements
The way he’s swinging the bat, he won’t get a hit until the 20th century.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
He’s even smaller in real life than he is on the track.
David Coleman
(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Appearance
Colemanballs
Misspokements
They will pass the father-son tandem of Buddy Bell and Yogi Berra.
Ralph Kiner
(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
On Bobby & Barry Bonds becoming the all-time father-son home-run leaders
I’m willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Characteristics
Misspokements
Oxymorons
Right
Wrong
I managed good but, boy, did they play bad.
Rocky Bridges
(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Managing
It’s a very good historical book about history.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Books
Communication
Misspokements
Reading/Writing
Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements
Money
Economical
Expense
Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.
Gerald Ford
(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication
Misspokements
Speech
Lincoln
I always enjoy animal acts.
Calvin Coolidge
(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Misspokements
When asked if he wanted to meet the Chicago Bears
I think it's that lack of width with his height.
Trevor Brooking
English football player & analyst
Misspokements
I am not a man of faith, but my wife is.
David Coleman
(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Beliefs
Colemanballs
Misspokements
Faith
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