Subject: Money » Frugal

Talk is cheap – except when Congress does it.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer

The dime hasn’t been minted that could march past Jack Benny.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

Scotsman: A man who, before sending his pajamas to the laundry, stuffs a sock in each pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

He was so cheap, for example, that when Mary asked for diamonds for her birthday he bought her two of them… the eight and the queen.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

I’m half Scottish and half Jewish, so don’t ask me for money.

(1960 – ) American actor, writer & director

When it comes to paying, he’s the first to put his hand in his pocket… and leave it there.

Misers make wonderful ancestors.

Even if you gave him poison he wouldn't die until he'd recovered the deposit on the bottle.

He once gave Gracie a coupon for a year’s subscription to a magazine as a gift – and all she had to do was fill it out and send it in with a check.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

That's Jack Benny; he's always out there on bad days like that looking for golf balls.

(1902 – 1977) American singer & actor

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own Scotch, you bring your own rocks.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

The Jack Benny I knew threw his money around… not far – but he threw it.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

He’s the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

He’s too stingy to give you the time of day.

He was asked to throw out the first ball at a World Series game; but … he looked at the ball and, instead of throwing it, he put it in his pocket and sat down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

The reason Jack Benny is looking so sad these days is that he’s not only losing a daughter – but losing a deduction too.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.

(Jack) Benny’s so cheap he wouldn’t give you the parsley off his fish.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian