Subject: Money (Page 10)

If you want to be on the upper crust, you need to have a lot of dough.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money

When you come to Heritage USA, remember to bring your Bible and your VISA card—because the Bible is the Holy Truth, and God doesn't take American Express.

(1939 – ) American televangelist
Beliefs God Money

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

Money Wealth Work

In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Bing (Crosby) doesn't pay income tax; he just calls the government and says, 'How much do you boys need?'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Taxes Wealth

Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind.

Men Money People Women

Nowadays, an after-dinner mint is what you need to pay the restaurant check.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Food/Drink Money

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics

A high paying rush job comes in only after you've committed to a low paying rush job.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws

Jesus saves, Moses invests.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Money

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)
Money Wealth

When I was born I owed twelve dollars.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Money Poverty Self

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Money Time

Talk is cheap – except when Congress does it.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Communication Congress Frugal Government Money Speech

Anybody who plays the stock market not as an insider is like a man buying cows in the moonlight.

(1797 – 1879) American businessman & speculator
Activities Money

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Family Money People

Because you are feeding both the child and the floor, raising this child will be expensive.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Food/Drink Money

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things