Subject: Money (Page 10)

A consultant is someone who, when hired to find out what time it is, borrows your watch to find out.

Money Murphy’s Laws

No matter what stage of completion one reaches in a North Sea (oil) field, the cost of the remainder of the project remains the same.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Does [life] begin at conception, or does it begin when the baby is an embryo? … anybody with children knows [it] don’t begin ’til they can pay their own damn bills.

(1963 – ) American actor & stand-up comedian
Children Family Money

Authors want their names down in history; I want to keep the smoke coming out of the chimney.

(1918 – 2006) American writer
Money Success Work

Thrift: Common sense applied to spending.

Definitions Money

I’m opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Money Opinion Wealth

Everything takes more time and money.

Life Money Murphy’s Laws Time

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Education Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws School Stupidity

Today, too many workers spend their time trying to make their weekends meet.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Time

Sure, it's nice to win; but there's only one thing that's important to me and that's the money we're going to get, win or lose.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

Nothing stimulates the appetite like an empty billfold.

Money

I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Death Life Money Wealth

1. Trial balances don't.
2. Working capital doesn't.
3. Liquidity tends to run out.
4. Return on investments won't.

Money Murphy’s Laws

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Time

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Definitions Frugal Money

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Money Time

No Taxes… let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Money Taxes

Money doesn’t talk, it swears.

(1941 – ) American singer & songwriter
Money

As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Money People

We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Money Poverty