Subject: Money (Page 12)

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, “Cough!”

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Doctors Health Money

There are plenty of good five cent cigars in the country… the trouble is they cost a quarter.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Activities Money

And they give you cash, which is just as good as money.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Money Yogi-isms

A financier is a pawnbroker with imagination.

(1855 – 1934) English dramatist
Money

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money Things

We were so poor we had to eat dough for breakfast and sit out in the sun for lunch!

Eating Expressions Food/Drink Money Poverty

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Life Wealth Work

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Beliefs Money People

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.

(1899 – 1966) producer, showman & lyricist
Money

My wife donates money to the homeless and I donate money to the topless.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Wives

The main purpose of the stock market is to make fools of as many men as possible.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Money

Ransom notes.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Communication Money Reading/Writing

The difference between a little money and no money at all is enormous… and the difference between a little money and an enormous amount of money is very slight.

(1897 – 1975) American author & playwright
Money

Baseball owners have moral scruples against taking any man’s dollar when there is a chance to take a dollar and a quarter.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Money Sports

My sister just got married; I was the maid of debt in that little event.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Marriage Money Relationships

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Acting Hollywood Money Places

I went to counseling, spent $5,000 to have two women call me a loser.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Money Situations

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?… try spelling Evian backward.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Money People

A fool and your money are soon partners.

Fools Money Murphy’s Laws

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Emotions Happiness Money