Subject: Money (Page 13)

Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

(1943 – ) English comedian
Children Family Money Wealth

Money – the one thing that keeps us in touch with our children.

(1948 – ) English writer, broadcaster, actor & politician
Children Family Money

Always Broke? Stop Living Payday To Payday

Headlines Money

When the last great scorer comes to mark against your name, it’s not whether you won or lost, but how many paid to see the game.

baseball executive
Money Sports

College is great; it’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents… and bounce it.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Money Poverty

Money… was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.

(1924 – 1987) American novelist, writer, playwright, poet & civil rights activist
Money Sex

My retirement plan is a slippery floor at a department store.

American comedian
Law Money

Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Money Sex

He took me to McDonald’s, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.

comedian & radio personality
Frugal Money Situations

In the nineteenth century, life was hard for Europe’s pheasants.

Malaprops People Poverty

He who hesitates is poor.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Money Poverty Time

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Money

Whatever goes us, stays up.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

You can never be too skinny or too rich.

(1915 – 1978) socialite
Appearance Body Wealth

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Money

Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will reject the proposal.

Money Murphy’s Laws

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks Relationships

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Never criticize Americans… they have the best taste that money can buy.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster
America Characteristics Money Opinion People Places

Poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Money Relationships

It is a truth universally acknowledge, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Money Wives