Subject: Money (Page 13)

I paid too much for it, but it’s worth it.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements Money

After what happened to my 401k, my new retirement plan is the Rapture.

American comedian
Money

I'm gonna ask the Falcons for so much money they'll have to put me on layaway.

American football player
Football Money Sports

Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one’s living at it.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Money Science/Weather Work

It's not hard to tell we was poor—when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.

(1928 – 2012) American comedian & actor
Money People Poverty Self

To supplement my income, I sell furniture on the side… I'm down to my couch now.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Money

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

(1883 – 1946) English economist
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Work

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Go where the money is.

Money Murphy’s Laws

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Husbands Marriage Money Wives

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money

Part of the loot went for gambling, part for horses, and part for women; the rest I spent foolishly.

(1895 – 1980) American actor
Money

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Emotions Happiness Money

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

If only one price can be obtained for any quotation, the price will be unreasonable.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Our rabbi is so poor that if he didn’t fast every Monday and Thursday, he’d starve to death.

Eating Food/Drink Money Poverty

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago…I shot my broker.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Conflict Killing Money

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

Children Money Proverbs Sex

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Government Money Poverty Taxes