Subject: Money (Page 16)

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Fools Intelligence Money

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?… try spelling Evian backward.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Money People

1. Always hire a rich solicitor.

2. Never buy from a rich salesman.

Lawyers Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Happiness Life Marriage People Poverty Wealth

We were so poor, every Christmas Eve my old man would go outside and shoot his gun, then come in and tell us kids Santa Claus had committed suicide.

(1921 – ) American boxing champion
Money Poverty

Good art is in the wallet of the beholder.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Art Entertainment Money

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Money Speech

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Emotions Money

(Jack) Benny’s so cheap he wouldn’t give you the parsley off his fish.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Frugal Money

Nobody ever said that capitalism guarantees profit.

(1947 – ) American economist
Government Money

It’s better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Money

The price of any product produced for a government agency will be not less than the square of the initial Firm Fixed-Price Contract.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws

Invest in inflation… it’s the only thing going up.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

All warranty and guarantee clauses are rendered void on payment of the invoice.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Love conquers all things… except poverty and toothache.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Health Love Money

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

American basketball player
Basketball Money Sports

My mom bought cookies… and they were never the good cookies; it was always the pack of 1000 that said: 'Cookies.'

comedian
Food/Drink Money Poverty

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money People

I tell ya, it’s tough to save a buck. Right now I’m supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Money

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Family Money Relationships

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.

(1860 – 1917) Scottish politician & judge
Emotions Love Money