Subject: Money (Page 17)

If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Money Places Wealth

When you don’t have any money, the problem is food; when you have money, it’s sex; when you have both, it’s health.

(1926 – ) Irish American novelist & playwright
Health Money Sex

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “You have to put your two cents in?” … somebody’s making a penny.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Money

Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Money People

The client who pays the least complains the most.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Money – the one thing that keeps us in touch with our children.

(1948 – ) English writer, broadcaster, actor & politician
Children Family Money

Money brings some happiness; but after a certain point, it just brings more money.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Emotions Happiness Money

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Beliefs Money People

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money

If you have a harem of 40 women, you never get to know any of them very well.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money

I don't have a boyfriend right now; I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support.

(1967 – 2007) American model
Money Relationships

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

(1925 – 2008) American actor, director & entrepreneur
Entertainment Film Money

Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.

Lerman's Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Conflict Crime Money

1. The probability of a cat eating its dinner has absolutely nothing to do with the price of the food placed before it. 2. The probability that a household pet will raise a fuss is directly proportional to the number and importance of your guests.

Animals Money Murphy’s Laws

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money People Wealth Work

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Money Reading/Writing

I got a $290 parking ticket today… my car only cost $240.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Autos Money Things

The art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of citizen to give to the other.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Government Money

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

(1915 – 2005) playwright & essayist
Money