Subject: Money (Page 17)

The female sex has no greater fan than I, and I have the bills to prove it.

(1918 – 1986) American lyricist
Money People Women

President Bush wants to spend $7 billion this year to fight the drug dealers in Colombia… but they only earn $3 billion a year; so why don't we pay them $4 billion a year not to grow the cocaine?

American comedian & writer
Drugs Money Places

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I’ve got a nickel in my pocket.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money Poverty TV/Movie Quotes

I like handicapped men ’cause a handicapped man get a check and a good parking space.

(1971 – ) American comedian & actress
Autos Money People

Money is what you’d get on beautifully without if only other people weren’t so crazy about it.

Money

If the law-makers make a compromise, the place where it will be felt most is the taxpayer’s pocket.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Among the things money can't buy is what it used to.

typographer
Money Things

You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Government Money

I made my money the old fashioned way; I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.

(1919 – 1990) publisher & author
Money

I (don’t) want anything ostentatious, no matter what it costs.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Characteristics Money

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.


(1799 – 1850) French novelist & playwright
Crime Money Wealth

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Money Sports

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Intelligence Money

He (Lyndon Johnson) wanted to see poverty, so he came to see my team (1964 New York Mets).

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Misspokements Poverty Sports

When the last great scorer comes to mark against your name, it’s not whether you won or lost, but how many paid to see the game.

baseball executive
Money Sports

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Children Family Money

There is nothing so habit-forming as money.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money

The best investment opportunities are encountered when you are broke.

Money Murphy’s Laws

What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

cartoon character in, The Simpsons (Harry Shearer)
Money TV/Movie Quotes