Subject: Money (Page 17)

Girls just want to have funds.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

If the law-makers make a compromise, the place where it will be felt most is the taxpayer’s pocket.

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “You have to put your two cents in?” … somebody’s making a penny.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

A set of rules laid out by professionals to show the way they would like to act if it was profitable.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

It is a truth universally acknowledge, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist

(Starbucks) doesn't have a slogan yet, so I thought of one for them: “It's really expensive, but the line is long.”

comedian & author

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

It ain't no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Exceptions prove the rule… and wreck the budget.

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist

Never criticize Americans… they have the best taste that money can buy.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor

When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all the other coins will roll out of sight.

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to ‘Until debt do us part.’

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist