Subject: Money (Page 18)

He died of cirrhosis of the liver… it costs money to die of cirrhosis of the liver.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Death Health Money

Nobody ever said that capitalism guarantees profit.

(1947 – ) American economist
Government Money

I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Life Money

There is only one word for aid that is genuinely without strings, and that word is blackmail.

(1902 – 1977) Scottish journalist & author
Money

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money People

Anyone with money to burn will always find himself surrounded by people with matches.

Money Wealth

Debt means you had more fun than you were supposed to.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Money

A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

Money Murphy’s Laws

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Family Money Relationships

I'll tell you why — because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay — that's why I get the dollar more an hour.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Money People Women

If past history was all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money Wealth

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Money Time

Any renovation project on an old house will cost twice as much and take three times as long as originally estimated.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

A rich man has no need of character.

Wealth

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Money

The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

(1925 – 2008) American actor, director & entrepreneur
Entertainment Film Money

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money

Rich widows are the only secondhand goods that sell at first-class prices.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Money