Subject: Money (Page 18)

It’s better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Money

Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language Money

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)
Money Wealth

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Activities Money Places Time

I'll tell you why — because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay — that's why I get the dollar more an hour.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Money People Women

Today it takes more brains and effort to make out the income tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

A set of rules laid out by professionals to show the way they would like to act if it was profitable.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Characteristics Money

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Money Poverty Wealth

Money isn’t everything: usually it isn’t enough.

Money

I don't have a boyfriend right now; I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support.

(1967 – 2007) American model
Money Relationships

I told you I needed to feed my family; they offered me 3 years at $21 million – that’s not going to cut it.

professional basketball player
Basketball Money Sports

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

He who hesitates is poor.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Money Poverty Time

Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money

I saw a bank that said “24 Hour Banking,” but I don’t have that
 much time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money Things Time

Anyone who lives within his means suffers from a lack of imagination.

(1908 – 1994) American actor
Life Money

If men knew how to do it, they wouldn’t have to pay for it.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men Money People Sex

Well I don't know which one has more money but I'll tell you what… either one could burn a wet mule with hundred dollar bills.

American auto racer
Auto racing Money Sports Wealth

… the only California houses on the market for less than a million dollars are those on fire… these generally go for six hundred thousand.

Money Places

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Intelligence Money Stupidity Wealth