Subject: Money (Page 18)

A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying, “Do we have to ask them?” to people whose first response is, “How much do you think we have to spend on them?”

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
Money People

I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of shit that I don't need, and I refuse to share with others.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Money Things Wealth

In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.

(1880 – 1966) American novelist
Life Money

I live in a two-income household… but who knows how long my mom can keep that up.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Family Money Mothers Travel Work

I was so poor, I couldn't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

I don't have a boyfriend right now; I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support.

(1967 – 2007) American model
Money Relationships

No matter how often you trade dinner or other invitations with in-laws, you will lose a small fortune in the exchange.

Family Money Murphy’s Laws Relationships

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Family Money Relationships

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Money Speech

There are plenty of good five cent cigars in the country… the trouble is they cost a quarter.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Activities Money

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Money Problems

Met a girl the other nite and told her-– “Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself… so does $200 seem reasonable?”

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
Money Situations

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Occupations People Work

You never want the one you can afford.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?

British actor, comedian & writer
Money People Wealth

People will swim through shit if you put a few bob in it.

(1925 – 1980) British comedian & actor
Money

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Fools Intelligence Money Proverbs

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money People Wealth Work

Whatever goes us, stays up.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

The dime hasn’t been minted that could march past Jack Benny.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Frugal Money

I (don’t) want anything ostentatious, no matter what it costs.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Characteristics Money