Subject: Money (Page 19)

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.

(1924 – 1997) Dutch-American artist
Money Poverty Time

College is great; it’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents… and bounce it.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Money Poverty

The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Happiness Intelligence Money Poverty Wealth

It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Poverty Wealth

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Money Work

God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Money People Wealth

Exceptions prove the rule… and wreck the budget.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Money

I paid too much for it, but it’s worth it.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements Money

1. You can't get anything without working for it.
2. The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
3. You can only break even at absolute zero.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

If you want to be on the upper crust, you need to have a lot of dough.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it's compromising.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Acting Hollywood Money Places

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money TV/Movie Quotes Work

It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian
Age Government Money Young

Whenever he saw a dollar in another man's hands he took it as a personal grudge, if he couldn't take it any other way.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
Money

Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

(1943 – ) English comedian
Children Family Money Wealth

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout; that's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.

(1956 – 2016) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Exercise Money

Because you are feeding both the child and the floor, raising this child will be expensive.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Food/Drink Money

Bank: An institution that will gladly lend you money provided you can prove you don’t need it.

Definitions Money