Subject: Money (Page 19)

My retirement plan is a slippery floor at a department store.

American comedian
Law Money

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Life Money People

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Money People

The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code… they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Film Money

The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Happiness Intelligence Money Poverty Wealth

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money

Jack was so cheap that instead of bringing his date flowers, he brought her seeds.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Frugal Money

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was so poor I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Money Poverty Young

Whatever goes us, stays up.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Markets can remain irrational a lot longer than you and I can remain solvent.

American financial analyst & commentator
Money

The most expensive component is the one that breaks.

Money Murphy’s Laws Things

There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income.

(1895 – 1972) writer and literary & social critic
Money

This year there are 50 women on the Forbes richest list, or as John Kerry calls that, his little black book.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Money Wealth Women

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Occupations People Work

There are plenty of good five cent cigars in the country… the trouble is they cost a quarter.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Activities Money

Exceptions prove the rule… and wreck the budget.

Money Murphy’s Laws

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Money

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Games Money

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money TV/Movie Quotes Work

It was all the wolf could do to keep us away from his door.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Money Poverty