Subject: Money (Page 19)

Ten men in the country could buy the world and ten million can’t buy enough to eat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host

I need money… I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Her business seems to be doing well; it must be very ludicrous.

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

I was having trouble making ends meet, and my beginnings weren't meeting either.

(1924 – 1973) American comic

There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1900 – 1967) American film actor

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist

Sex is like art; most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

writer, website creator

You can never be too skinny or too rich.

(1915 – 1978) socialite

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is… fortunately, I love money.

(1934 – ) comedian

Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.

The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was so poor I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

He is so poor… he can't even pay attention.

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

(Starbucks) doesn't have a slogan yet, so I thought of one for them: “It's really expensive, but the line is long.”

comedian & author

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

(1886 – 1975) American fiction writer