Subject: Money (Page 2)

In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.

(1880 – 1966) American novelist
Life Money

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.

Marriage Money Murphy’s Laws Time

We didn't actually overspend our budget; the allocation simply fell short of our expenditure.

Money

What the insurance companies have done is to reverse the business so that the public at large insures the insurance companies.


Money

I was so poor, I couldn't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

Blood's not thicker than money.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Family Money Relationships

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Money Time

Fifty percent of America’s population spends less than ten dollars a month on romance; you know what we call these people? … Men.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Men Money People

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports Success Wealth

I went to counseling, spent $5,000 to have two women call me a loser.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Money Situations

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Money

The client who pays the least complains the most.

Money Murphy’s Laws

1. Trial balances don't.
2. Working capital doesn't.
3. Liquidity tends to run out.
4. Return on investments won't.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Just give every coach the same amount of money and tell them they can keep what’s left over.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Money Sports

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Life Money Situations

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Fools Intelligence Money Proverbs

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions – he had money, too.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Memory Money

Broke as a whore during lent.

Money Poverty

When you come to Heritage USA, remember to bring your Bible and your VISA card—because the Bible is the Holy Truth, and God doesn't take American Express.

(1939 – ) American televangelist
Beliefs God Money

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Poverty Self

If you have a harem of 40 women, you never get to know any of them very well.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money