Subject: Money (Page 20)

Money doesn’t talk, it swears.

(1941 – ) American singer & songwriter
Money

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places Politics

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Food/Drink Money Old

You might be a redneck if… your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs Money People Rednecks Things

It was all the wolf could do to keep us away from his door.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Money Poverty

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.


(1799 – 1850) French novelist & playwright
Crime Money Wealth

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)
Money Wealth

He took me to McDonald’s, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.

comedian & radio personality
Frugal Money Situations

He died of cirrhosis of the liver… it costs money to die of cirrhosis of the liver.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Death Health Money

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Fools Friends Intelligence Money People

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty

The most popular labor saving device is still money.

(1949 – ) American beauty queen, businesswoman, actress & sportscaster
Money

I was so poor… in my neighborhood, the rainbow was in black and white!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places Poverty

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago…I shot my broker.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Conflict Killing Money

Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is… fortunately, I love money.

(1934 – ) comedian
Emotions Love Money

Money is what you’d get on beautifully without if only other people weren’t so crazy about it.

Money

The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.

(1924 – 1987) American novelist, writer, playwright, poet & civil rights activist
Money Poverty

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Education Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws School Stupidity

I'll tell you why — because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay — that's why I get the dollar more an hour.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Money People Women

An inexorable upward movement leads administrators to higher salaries and narrower spans of control.

Money Murphy’s Laws