Subject: Money (Page 22)

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Health Intelligence Situations Sleep Wealth

U.S. Audit Finds Funds For Youth Misspent

Headlines Money

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Money Sports

The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Money

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money

Telephone psychics are better at making fortunes than at reading them.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money People

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Money

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

The difference between a little money and no money at all is enormous… and the difference between a little money and an enormous amount of money is very slight.

(1897 – 1975) American author & playwright
Money

Debts: The certain outcome of an uncertain income.

Definitions Money

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Government Money Poverty Taxes

Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Money

My church accepts all denominations – fivers, tenners, twenties.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs Money

The most expensive component is the one that breaks.

Money Murphy’s Laws Things

A lifelong friend is one you haven't borrowed money from yet.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Friends Money People

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People Shopping Women

Bank: An institution that will gladly lend you money provided you can prove you don’t need it.

Definitions Money

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Money