Subject: Money (Page 22)

There is nothing so habit-forming as money.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Life Money Situations

Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money

Go where the money is.

Money Murphy’s Laws

I always invest in companies an idiot could run, because one day one will.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money

I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Death Life Money Wealth

President Bush has just one question for the American voters: is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America Money

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Emotions Happiness Money

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.


Activities Emotions Happiness Money Shopping

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Money Occupations Time Work

Reporter: What did you think about the collective bargaining proposal?

Payton: (making $2,700,000 per year): People would have to cut their lifestyle, and they’d live like penny-pinchers.

professional football coach
Misspokements Money Sports

Being young is not having any money; being young is not minding not having any money

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Age Money Young

Scotsman: A man who, before sending his pajamas to the laundry, stuffs a sock in each pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Frugal Money People

I grew up in a poor family… I had to cut everyone’s hair, because we didn’t have money for entertainment.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Money Poverty Situations

I spent all my money on a FAX machine; now I can only FAX collect.

Money Things

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Intelligence Money Poverty Stupidity

The most expensive component is the one that breaks.

Money Murphy’s Laws Things

When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing, it's the money.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Money

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Games Money

Expenditure rises to meet income.

Money Murphy’s Laws

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Money People Things