Subject: Money (Page 22)

It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

It is a truth universally acknowledge, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist

I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect.

(1933 – ) American professional golfer

If [an actor] says, 'But what's my motivation?… 'I say, 'Your salary.'

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

No one is rich enough to do without a neighbor.

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace, which I think is fine, cause if we didn’t make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

(1918 – ) American advice columnist

There is no stronger craving in the world than that of the rich for titles, except that of the titled for riches.

(1887 – 1964) British actor, writer & theater director

When a person with experience meets a person with money, the person with experience will get the money and the person with the money will get some experience.

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

(1883 – 1946) English economist

That's Jack Benny; he's always out there on bad days like that looking for golf balls.

(1902 – 1977) American singer & actor

I paid too much for it, but it’s worth it.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.

(1924 – 1997) Dutch-American artist

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer