Subject: Money (Page 23)

Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.

(1919 – 1997) American businessman

Rich widows are the only secondhand goods that sell at first-class prices.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host

Money is something you got to make in case you don’t die.

(? – 1968) Russian-American, founder of New York’s famed Stage Deli

I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67… and that was cause I had no small change for the window cleaner.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter

Find out the cost before you get in.

The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

I’m so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician

The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)

When a man says money can do anything… he hasn't got any.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches – two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Money often costs too much.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher

If you’re wondering if you have enough money to take the family out to eat tonight, you don’t.

(1917 – 1994) American writer

The most popular labor saving device is still money.

(1949 – ) American beauty queen, businesswoman, actress & sportscaster

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity; that's how rich I want to be.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer