Subject: Money (Page 24)

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Definitions Frugal Money

The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money Taxes

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

Children Money Proverbs Sex

I was so poor, I couldn't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Communication Money Reading/Writing

A triumph for democracy; it proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as anybody else.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government Money

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

Keep up with the Grabowskis… you'll never make enough to keep up with the Joneses.

Money Murphy’s Laws

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks Relationships

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

Money Murphy’s Laws People Time

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Life Money

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Money Problems

You've no idea what it costs to keep the old man in poverty.

(1900 – 1979) British statesman & naval officer
Money People Poverty

1. If you want something badly, that's how you get it. 2. Many "get-rich-quick" schemes make millionaires – out of multi-millionaries.

Money Murphy’s Laws

A financier is a pawnbroker with imagination.

(1855 – 1934) English dramatist
Money

Our rabbi is so poor that if he didn’t fast every Monday and Thursday, he’d starve to death.

Eating Food/Drink Money Poverty

When I was 14, he sat me down, said, 'Larry, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle over price.'

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Money Sex

What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

cartoon character in, The Simpsons (Harry Shearer)
Money TV/Movie Quotes

Good art is in the wallet of the beholder.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Art Entertainment Money

The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Mistakes Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time