Subject: Money (Page 26)

An inexorable upward movement leads administrators to higher salaries and narrower spans of control.

Money Murphy’s Laws

If I’m making millions to put a ball through a hoop, you can’t ever piss me off.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Money Occupations Sports Work

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Intelligence Money

A financier is a pawnbroker with imagination.

(1855 – 1934) English dramatist
Money

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Art Money People

Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws

If John Kerry had a dollar for every time he bragged about serving in Vietnam… oh wait, he does!

(1961 – ) American lawyer, political commentator, author & syndicated columnist
Money

Reporter: What did you think about the collective bargaining proposal?

Payton: (making $2,700,000 per year): People would have to cut their lifestyle, and they’d live like penny-pinchers.

professional football coach
Misspokements Money Sports

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Money

If the guy was poor, I’d give it back.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Poverty Yogi-isms

You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Government Money

Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?

British actor, comedian & writer
Money People Wealth

No project was ever completed on time and within budget.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

I know when I'm having sex with a woman, she's thinking about love and marriage and romance, and I'm thinking, 'A hundred bucks?… I can't afford this.'

comedian
Money Sex

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money People Situations

Money doesn’t buy happiness; but happiness isn’t everything.

(1938 – 1979) American actress
Emotions Happiness Money

I was so poor… in my neighborhood, the rainbow was in black and white!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places Poverty

When we played, World Series checks meant something; now all they do is screw up your taxes.

American baseball pitcher & announcer
Baseball Money Sports

Yeah, this comedy is all a part of my “Get Rich Slow” scheme… and it’s working.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Money Wealth

In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

America Money Murphy’s Laws Places