Subject: Money (Page 28)

The rich aren’t like us… they pay less taxes.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
People Taxes Wealth

Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

If I hadn’t my debts I shouldn’t have anything to think about.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Money

I hate nickels; they’re quarter impersonators.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Money

Stand-Up [comedy] is a lot like sex; there's a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Money Sex

Keep up with the Grabowskis… you'll never make enough to keep up with the Joneses.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Emotions Happiness Love Marriage Money Wealth

I forgot how expensive this town is; checking into the hotel this morning, I literally had to give the bellhop $10 just for taking my tip.

American comedian & writer
Money

Nothing stimulates the appetite like an empty billfold.

Money

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

Money Murphy’s Laws People Time

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws

Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry of the poor on the vanity of the rich.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Appearance Money

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Divorce Marriage Money

Before borrowing from a friend, decide which you need most.

Friends Money People Young

1. The probability of a cat eating its dinner has absolutely nothing to do with the price of the food placed before it. 2. The probability that a household pet will raise a fuss is directly proportional to the number and importance of your guests.

Animals Money Murphy’s Laws

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Money

You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late; you fryin’ toast?… at nine o’clock at night?… with bacon?… you’re broke.

(1957 – 2008) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money Poverty

Only in our dreams are we free; the rest of the time we need wages.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Life Money

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money

No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.

Animals Dogs Money Wealth

The difference between a little money and no money at all is enormous… and the difference between a little money and an enormous amount of money is very slight.

(1897 – 1975) American author & playwright
Money