Subject: Money (Page 28)

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is… the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money People

The female sex has no greater fan than I, and I have the bills to prove it.

(1918 – 1986) American lyricist
Money People Women

Never criticize Americans… they have the best taste that money can buy.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster
America Characteristics Money Opinion People Places

There are no "free lunches," but sometimes it costs more to collect money than to give away food.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Money still talks these days… trouble is, you have to increase the volume alot!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Death Money Time

I’m opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Money Opinion Wealth

Only in our dreams are we free; the rest of the time we need wages.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Life Money

Any renovation project on an old house will cost twice as much and take three times as long as originally estimated.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Money Wealth

Stand-Up [comedy] is a lot like sex; there's a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Money Sex

Sure, it's nice to win; but there's only one thing that's important to me and that's the money we're going to get, win or lose.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?

British actor, comedian & writer
Money People Wealth

If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Baseball Children Money Sports Wealth

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, as long as you’ve got money.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Money

When two people meet to decide how to spend a third person's money, fraud will result.

Money Murphy’s Laws People

I know when I'm having sex with a woman, she's thinking about love and marriage and romance, and I'm thinking, 'A hundred bucks?… I can't afford this.'

comedian
Money Sex

A homeless guy asked me for 2 pounds, so I gave him 1.67 because that’s what a woman would get paid for doing the same job.

British comedian
Men Money People Women Work

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

Exceptions prove the rule… and wreck the budget.

Money Murphy’s Laws