Subject: Money (Page 28)

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty

Wouldn’t it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

(1952 – ) comedian
Health Money

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money

You might be a redneck if… you own a Waffle House credit card.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.

Lawyers Money

Thrift: Common sense applied to spending.

Definitions Money

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.

(1860 – 1917) Scottish politician & judge
Emotions Love Money

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the happy wish to be married, the married wish to be dead.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Marriage People Wealth

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Money Reading/Writing

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Money Poverty Wealth

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Money

I paid too much for it, but it’s worth it.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements Money

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Animals Money

Reparation: Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Money

The chief problem with lower income farmers is poverty.

(1908 – 1979) U.S. vice president & governor (New York)
Misspokements Money

Money is what you’d get on beautifully without if only other people weren’t so crazy about it.

Money

A consultant is someone who, when hired to find out what time it is, borrows your watch to find out.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Husbands Marriage Money

An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Characteristics Money

Under current practices, both expenditures and revenues rise to meet each other, no matter which one may be in excess.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Good art is in the wallet of the beholder.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Art Entertainment Money