Subject: Money (Page 28)

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money

In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.

Money Murphy’s Laws

You will never find any more loose change than you have already lost.

Money Murphy’s Laws

No one is rich enough to do without a neighbor.

People Proverbs Wealth

Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get re-elected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early retirement.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code… they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Film Money

I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect.

(1933 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports

So far, I haven’t heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Death Life Money

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Money

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Money Poverty

I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Money Situations

The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family brokerage business.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government Money

I was once so broke I forgot whether you cut steak with a knife or drank it with a spoon.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money Poverty

U.S. Audit Finds Funds For Youth Misspent

Headlines Money

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

Money Wealth Work

Money is what you’d get on beautifully without if only other people weren’t so crazy about it.

Money

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
Money Science/Weather

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.

(1899 – 1966) producer, showman & lyricist
Money

Poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Money Relationships

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men Money People

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50; so I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Entertainment Money