Subject: Money (Page 29)

You will never find any more loose change than you have already lost.

Money Murphy’s Laws

People will swim through shit if you put a few bob in it.

(1925 – 1980) British comedian & actor
Money

If I hadn’t my debts I shouldn’t have anything to think about.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Money

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Money Speech

Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is… fortunately, I love money.

(1934 – ) comedian
Emotions Love Money

I was so poor… in my neighborhood, the rainbow was in black and white!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places Poverty

The shortest measurable interval of time is the time between the moment one puts a little extra aside for a sudden emergency and the arrival of that emergency.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Characteristics Men People Wealth

If the law-makers make a compromise, the place where it will be felt most is the taxpayer’s pocket.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Past Time

Psychic: An individual having an uncanny, seemingly supernatural, talent for extracting money from morons.

American author
Fools Intelligence Money

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Communication Money Reading/Writing

Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve; run with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened; keep the company of bums and you will become a bum; hang around with rich people and you will end by picking up the check and dying broke.

Characteristics Money Murphy’s Laws People

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Life Money

I bought a million lottery tickets… I won a dollar.


Activities Money

Oh God, bills, bills, bills. … Honestly Baldrick, sometimes I feel like a pelican – whichever way I turn, I’ve still got an enormous bill in front of me.

(1955 – ) English actor
Money TV/Movie Quotes

So far, I haven’t heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Death Life Money

When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Life Money Young

One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab… the movie cost me $95.00.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Film Money

There are plenty of good five cent cigars in the country… the trouble is they cost a quarter.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Activities Money

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women