Subject: Money (Page 29)

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men Money People

Rich people bring a lawyer; Latinos and blacks bring their moms.

(1976 – ) comedian
Lawyers Money Mothers People

In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Being young is not having any money; being young is not minding not having any money

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Age Money Young

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Games Money

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money Things

I put on my favorite winter jacket for the first time the other day, and as soon as I put my hands in those pockets, I was immediately reminded that last year I didn't have any money, either.

(1970 – ) American comedian & television game show host
Money Poverty

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Money Time

When I was 14, he sat me down, said, 'Larry, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle over price.'

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Money Sex

Even if you gave him poison he wouldn't die until he'd recovered the deposit on the bottle.

Frugal Money

We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Money Poverty

Change is inevitable… except from vending machines.

Money Signs

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I’ve got a nickel in my pocket.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money Poverty TV/Movie Quotes

Price: Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.

(1922 – 1999) labor union leader, president of the AFL-CIO
Money Wealth Work

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Activities Money Places Time

If the shoe fits, it's too expensive.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Appearance Clothing Money

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Husbands Marriage Money

I hate nickels; they’re quarter impersonators.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Money

A billion here, a billion there—pretty soon it adds up to real money.

(1896 – 1969) American congressman & senator (Illinois)
Government Money

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Emotions Money Old