Subject: Money (Page 30)

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred dollars a year more than the income of one’s wife’s sister’s husband.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Money Wealth Wives

Yeah, this comedy is all a part of my “Get Rich Slow” scheme… and it’s working.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Money Wealth

Time is a waste of money.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Money Time

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Time

You might be a redneck if… you think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Food/Drink Future Money Time

Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?

British actor, comedian & writer
Money People Wealth

The most popular labor saving device is still money.

(1949 – ) American beauty queen, businesswoman, actress & sportscaster
Money

If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around.

(1902 – 1983) Australian novelist & short-story writer
Money People Wealth

Bing (Crosby) doesn't pay income tax; he just calls the government and says, 'How much do you boys need?'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Taxes Wealth

A homeless guy asked me for 2 pounds, so I gave him 1.67 because that’s what a woman would get paid for doing the same job.

British comedian
Men Money People Women Work

If I hadn’t my debts I shouldn’t have anything to think about.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Money

The probability of winning is inversely proportional to the amount of the wager.

Money Murphy’s Laws

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “You have to put your two cents in?” … somebody’s making a penny.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Money

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Money Speech

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Money

Authors want their names down in history; I want to keep the smoke coming out of the chimney.

(1918 – 2006) American writer
Money Success Work

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions – he had money, too.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Memory Money

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Money Things