Subject: Money (Page 30)

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Intelligence Money

Broke as a whore during lent.

Money Poverty

Psychic: An individual having an uncanny, seemingly supernatural, talent for extracting money from morons.

American author
Fools Intelligence Money

Saving is a very fine thing; especially when your parents have done it for you.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Money

If only one price can be obtained for any quotation, the price will be unreasonable.

Money Murphy’s Laws

[Charles Dickens] was the bravest man who ever lived; he fathered ten children before they became tax deductions.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Family Money Taxes

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Communication Money

If someone says, "I'm expensive" – believe them.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of citizen to give to the other.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Government Money

My church accepts all denominations – fivers, tenners, twenties.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs Money

Basically, this is the way the economy works: I do a service for you, and you pay me, even if you claim you didn't want the service and that I "ruined" something of yours.

Money

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love; the poor know that it is money.

(1894 – 1987) British writer
Emotions Love Money People Wealth

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money

I had to recently move back home, because my mom was having trouble paying both our rents.

Actress & comedian
Money Situations

The pain goes away on payday.

(1902 – 1975) comedian, actor & member of The Three Stooges
Acting Entertainment Money

(Jack) Benny’s so cheap he wouldn’t give you the parsley off his fish.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Frugal Money

Income: The sum of money which it costs more than to live.

Definitions Money

Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.

(1924 – 1987) American novelist, writer, playwright, poet & civil rights activist
Money Poverty

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks Relationships

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Fools Intelligence Money Proverbs